Thursday, September 15, 2011

Thinking Is Hard... But It Just Might Save The World

In the past few weeks, I've noticed more internet hoaxes and scams floating around than ever. Most of these come to me from people who forward them to my e-mail box and/or send them to me via social networking sites. Unfortunately, anyone who forwards these things to other people is just as guilty of perpetuating these scams as those who initiate them. All it takes is a little bit of critical thinking and/or a quick search on Snopes to debunk them before you pollute the internet with more of this garbage.


Hoax: The first example is a chain e-mail suggesting that we should all forward said e-mail to everyone we can think of to "send a message to our politicians that we will not tolerate this". The suggestion goes on to include that everyone should "fax a copy of the e-mail to their local representatives" along with a letter demanding answers about why this is allowed. The "this" that is being referred to is the claim that illegal aliens are collecting social security benefits because it is legal to do so, and that we must stop allowing "anchor babies" (babies illegal aliens allegedly come to the United States to give birth to so that they can remain with the child until it turns 21) and we should all "demand that they change the laws to stop this".


Truth: Under current laws, illegal aliens are NOT awarded social security benefits OF ANY KIND, and the citizenship of any baby born in the United States does not confer ANY citizenship to ANY other family member, nor does it allow the parents of said infant to stay in this country for any length of time. In fact, many children of immigrants born in the U.S. are separated from their parents and put into social services custody since they are citizens, while the illegal immigrant parents are jailed awaiting deportation. That seems rather cruel to me, especially when we're talking about a breastfeeding infant. (It happens more often than you think.) In what fantasy world are the creators of these hoax e-mails living where children born in the U.S. to illegal immigrants allow their parents to live in the United States legally until they turn 21?


The Harm: What may seem like a harmless hoax causes much harm in several ways. First, while it only takes a few seconds to forward an e-mail, the time spent forwarding and reading this garbage would be much better spent writing an actual letter to our politicians about REAL issues that actually exist. That brings me to point number two, which is that every letter, fax, or e-mail that gets sent to a politician's office about this garbage must be dealt with in some way, and it takes a lot of taxpayer money for your local senator to have staff respond to the invalidity of them or do so themselves. Wouldn't you rather your local representatives deal with real problems instead of imaginary ones made up by some internet hoaxster?


Example number two is the infinitely changing "virus" hoax e-mail, in which there are claims that there is a virus circulating that will "wipe your hard drive clean and destroy your computer" if you click on a link in a certain e-mail. While there are viruses that are sent regularly via e-mail, the exaggerated e-mail warnings set people up to fall for fake "free virus checkers" that they see pop up on various web sites which, instead of checking your computer for a virus, actually install a virus on your computer. Rule of thumb: get virus software from a reliable source (an electronics store, for example) and do not ever, EVER trust ANY "virus checker" software you see on the internet.


I would take it a step further and before clicking on any link in any e-mail from someone you know, contact them and ask them what the link is for and if they have used it themselves. Request that any links be explained before including them in e-mails so that you will be better able to determine if you wish to click on them. Many of us are charged for bandwidth on our internet access and if the link goes to a video or other streaming media, it's going to cost actual money to click on it. If it goes elsewhere, it's a matter of common courtesy to explain where. Basic e-mail etiquette dictates this.


Also, ask anyone who forwards spam and/or chain e-mails to either a) not send them to you or b) at least make sure they put your address in the "bcc" section instead of the "cc" section. "CC" stands for "carbon copy", meaning you are sending an electronic version of a "carbon copy" of that e-mail to someone and EVERYONE who receives the e-mail will have all of the e-mail addresses of everyone else to whom you have sent the e-mail, while "bcc" means "blind carbon copy", meaning that nobody else can see to whom the e-mail has been sent but the sender. I've seen forwarded e-mails with hundreds of e-mail addresses showing in the "cc" section, and this is exactly why those who complain about getting so much spam e-mail are getting it - everyone who gets the e-mails their friends are forwarding are also getting their e-mail addresses, and they are forwarding those e-mail addresses to other spammers every time they forward the e-mail, even if they don't realize it.


The most recent example of an internet hoax I experienced was just a few hours ago. Someone sent me an "invitation" to an "event" on Facebook claiming that the first 25,000 recipients to click "attend" would receive a "free Facebook hoodie".


First of all, Facebook would likely make such an offer or announcement on their own corporate web site or via e-mail, since they have the e-mail address of EVERY SINGLE MEMBER. Hello!? You are an absolute fool if you give any of your personal information to these people.


First of all, once you send them your name, address, and e-mail address, they now have the information they need to devise further scams and appeal to your foolishness so they can scam you with something bigger. The web site link you are instructed to click on takes you to a web site that is NOT in the U.S. and that is also NOT a Facebook web site. It has all kinds of "comments" from people claiming "I got mine the other day!" or "I tried to get three but they limited me to two." Of course, these are obviously comments from the scammers themselves, designed to trick the easily fooled people into thinking they really will get a free hoodie if they hand over their e-mail addresses and physical addresses, along with their names. You are wasting your time, and you are rewarding a scammer for scamming you by inviting them to send you all kinds of scam e-mails and/or develop a mailing list which they can sell to others, and they will NEVER send you a hoodie, guaranteed.


It is astonishing to me that people who can carry on semi-intelligent arguments about political issues will fall for such nonsense, but some people see "free" and their brains immediately shut down.


I highly recommend that anyone with a Facebook account should "friend" Facebook's corporate account, so that you will be able to receive updates about the changes you may be seeing in their internet and smartphone app interfaces, as well as warnings about various scams as mentioned above. The link for the Facebook web site is http://www.facebook.com/facebook - do it now!


A family member forwarded to me a spam e-mail that had clearly been sent to hundreds of others before with an embedded HTML section of a credit score checking web site. The subject says "Your credit score may have changed. View it for free from the three major reporting agencies!" You click on it, and it appears to take you to a web site which allows you to sign up for a free trial in a credit score monitoring service that will allow you to see your credit report and correct any inaccuracies as well. The problem? If you click on the link, it will not take you to a valid web site, but a scam web site that LOOKS like a valid web site. When you enter your birthday, social security number, etc. the scammers now have ALL of your personal information, so instead of protecting your credit score, you have made access to your credit information completely available and vulnerable to the people you don't want to have it.


DO NOT EVER CLICK ON A LINK IN AN E-MAIL TO GO TO ANY BANKING OR FINANCIAL-RELATED WEB SITE! TYPE THE SIMPLE WEB ADDRESS OF THE SITE IN YOUR BROWSER AND GO THERE DIRECTLY!!! It is the only way to ensure that you aren't being targeted for a "phishing" scam, which is what the scam above is called.


The above examples are just a small sampling of the obvious hoaxes I receive on a regular basis. I realize they may not be obvious to some of the less savvy internet users, but they will be if you learn to use some common sense and understand that, with the many wonderful things that come with the internet, there are always scammers hard at work spending more time and effort trying to scam you than it would take to just go get a real job.


My intent wasn't to turn this into a "how to protect yourself from internet scams" blog, but rather to point out what a lack of critical thinking will do to you. In fact, pretty much everything we don't like about the world we live in right now is due to a lack of critical thinking on our part, and it's time we stop blaming our politicians and start blaming ourselves for putting them there, and for failing to do what is necessary to make ourselves very clear what we will and will not vote for the next time around, and what we need to see in order for the public servant in question to have a chance at getting re-elected. Of course, you'll first have to educate yourself on what the issues are, not on what you think you heard someone else say they are. Listen the next time you watch the news - really listen. Go to the web sites of the politicians you are both for AND against, get a good understanding of what each is REALLY saying so you don't become another source of false information. We have enough of those already. And if you have to lie about what a politician you don't like said in order to make the one you do like look good, I'd question my choice in candidates.


Yeah, I know Fox News and C.N.N. aren't perfect news sources, but they're a hell of a lot better than a spam e-mail that could easily have been written by a confused 8-year old. I'm convinced that's where a lot of people get their political opinions - from false statements made in spam e-mails forwarded to them by their friends.


Everyone knows that I'm concerned about the many displays of bigotry, hate, and violence by some of the religious people in our world, including the highly educated terrorists who made the decision to crash planes into buildings due to religious superstitions they held. (Interesting that these were educated people, and the only thing that could convince them to do something so stupid was religious superstition.) I won't repeat those arguments here, but I would like to discuss the fact that, if you have made the decision to "believe" in a religious figure and/or engage in religious activity, there are certain responsibilities you have to understand the need for separation of church and state.


First, the constant postings I keep seeing about why people should not drink Dr. Pepper because they "left the words 'under god' out of the pledge on their packaging which had the 'Pledge of Allegiance' on it" are a clear display of ignorance. The original pledge of allegiance NEVER HAD THE WORDS 'UNDER GOD' IN IT TO START WITH! If you're going to be angry about that and post that people should boycott the product, then please, at least have the decency to acknowledge that you are miffed that the ORIGINAL VERSION OF THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE is being used because you want everything possible to be about religion, even though the original author of the pledge, who was a Baptist minister, had the self-discipline to refrain from making a patriotic pledge into a religious prayer, in honor of the U.S. Constitution. If only people had that kind of respect for our constitution today...


If a Baptist minister can refrain from putting religion into a government document, surely the average citizen can.


Yes, there truly are religious leaders who have the wisdom to recognize that there is a time and a place for everything, and patriotic, government-sanctioned activities need not mention anything about anybody's religious figurehead.


The other thing I keep seeing over and over is the bitching about how they "need to put prayer back in schools". Of course, everyone knows how I feel about turning a publicly-funded (tax-supported) school into a religious sanctuary, since it is a violation of the United States Constitution's "Separation of Church and State". It's what also protects your children from having to listen to a Qur'an  passage each morning before classes begin.


It's not that prayer is forbidden - any child is free to pray as they see fit. It's simply that the school isn't going to organize it. If you think your child wants or needs to pray at school, then instruct him or her on how to do so and take steps to ensure that it can be done in as unobtrusive a way as possible. That is responsible parenting and promotes a healthy attitude in your child that the world needn't revolve around them in order for them to faithfully practice their religion.


However, the bigger issue for me here is that the people who do the griping about there not being prayer in school seem to suffer from the delusion that having kids say a quick prayer before classes begin is going to somehow change the world or the way kids behave in school. It won't. The only thing that will do that is making sure that you teach your children right from wrong, and I'm not sure that having them recite prayers is the way to do that. Just some food for thought.


I'm also amazed at the number of e-mails I receive with "prosperity angels" that will supposedly make me wealthy if I forward the angelic spam on to all of my contacts. I'm curious why anyone would think that something like this would be sanctioned by their religion, and the fact that anyone is superstitious enough to even waste time on the POSSIBILITY that "it might work" is the same reason why we have so many problems in our world today, and it's also the same reason why these same people end up with computer viruses, financial security issues, and a host of other problems in their daily lives.


Got suckered by a two-timing love interest? Lack of critical thinking. I GUARANTEE you the signs were there, you just didn't want to see them.


Didn't get your homework/housework/take-home from work-work done? It's because you were too busy sending out spam e-mails, giving all of your personal information to scammers for future use, sending an "event" invitation to fifty of your Facebook friends, or trying to reboot your computer after you clicked on an e-mail attachment claiming to contain some of the most amazing free porn ever.


Critical thinking isn't always easy, but if you can learn to think your way out of the traps set for you by those who are counting on you to be gullible and fall for their scams, it's a start in the right direction. Who knows, as you get better and better at asking yourself whether something is legit or not, you just may learn to see the many hidden scams that most take for granted as true without even thinking about it, much to the detriment of society as a whole.


A.





Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Joy Shines Brighter In A Dull Room

The following is an adaptation of last year's blog post, in which I recount the most memorable (and sweetest) birthday experience I have ever had.


Today marks yet another 365 days that the earth has rotated on its axis since I have been alive. I am 42 years old.


When my birthday rolls around, I usually think back to past birthdays.


I have had a very full life, rich in experiences. Some of them have been horrific, others have been wonderful, and still others have been just downright bizarre with some clearly a mixture of all three.


My favorite birthday memory of all time happens to be one of such combinations of horrific, wonderful, and bizarre.


Horrific: because I was in a county jail with my life on hold, waiting for the feds distorted idea of justice to play out in the case they had brought against me before I was sent to prison.


And now, let me explain the wonderful and bizarre aspects of this cherished memory...


September 13, 2005, my cell-mate was a bankruptcy attorney who was serving a short federal sentence for bankruptcy fraud. Her sentence was less than six months, so she didn't get sent to a prison, but was to serve out her sentence in a federally contracted detention center, in this case, a county jail.


She had three young children, (including a set of twins) and one of them was a "special needs" child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and other issues. Since she was a single mother, she was allowed to break up her sentence over two summers so that her sister could keep her kids while she was locked up and then she could be there to take care of them when school was back in session.


She and I became very close as we got to know one another. Like many who feel the walls of despair closing in on them while confined in a drab environment, she tortured herself with despairing thoughts, including that she was a bad mother (very few who have that fear are ever actually bad mothers) and I did my best to keep her focused on the positive things she had going for her.


She was a beautiful woman, very attractive, kind-hearted, intelligent... she was within a year of my age, and it was hard to imagine how she could end up in this situation. Of course, many people have said the same thing about me. I assure you, it can happen to anyone.


One thing I knew was that she would be fine once she got out. She took over the jail within a few weeks, teaching everyone from accused murderers to crack addicts new card games and making it clear to them that she wasn't going to be bullied. She always had the upper hand, and I was sure she would somehow maintain it throughout the rest of her life.


The week before my birthday, she, knowing that I didn't have a steady source of funding with which to purchase items like shampoo and lotion from the commissary, had me make a list of items I wanted for my birthday. I was thrilled!


She was going to be going home in a couple of weeks, so she was planning a farewell party and also ordered about 35 Hostess cupcakes, one for every inmate in our pod. (This never happens. Ever. Nobody does this. Except Shannon.)


So, on my birthday, we were all released from our cells for breakfast. I went about my usual routine of taking my shower afterwards and returned to one of about ten four-person tables where several of us normally played cards in the day-room until it was time to be locked back down. When I got to my usual spot at the table, I got the surprise of my life:


There was a Hostess cupcake waiting there for me, but there was also a birthday card Shannon had purchased from the commissary signed by everyone, and a "candle" she had somehow managed to fashion out of paper. (Keep in mind, inmates have no access to scissors.)


Before I even had a chance to react, the pod of about 35 women who had just been going about their business were suddenly all turned in my direction and the room swelled with the sound of everyone singing "Happy Birthday". That's when I realized that I was experiencing my first-ever surprise birthday party. In jail.


Growing up, I had enjoyed throwing my father a surprise birthday party just a couple of years before he got sick and died. Many surprise parties had been thrown in my family, and I was always enamored with the idea of sneaking around in order to bombard someone with expressions of love and happiness.


My brother and I always had nice birthdays growing up. My parents went out of their way to make it special with what little resources they had, and they always succeeded. I cherish those memories, but, as birthday surprises go, nothing, not even winning the lottery on my birthday, could ever compare to what Shannon, a friend I had known for only a brief time, did for me.


Until you've been in jail or prison, you'll never realize the capacity of even the most violent criminal, drug addict, or bank robber to experience and express love for other humans. We had quite a variety of people in our "pod" at the jail, and every one of them was singing happy birthday to a nerd with glasses who had never even had a speeding ticket.


So there you have it, horrific, wonderful, and bizarre all rolled into one bittersweet, delicious experience with a paper candle on top. I challenge you to beat that combination in a true story. I just don't think it can be done.


A.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Should I Call Myself An Atheist Christian?

Being a critical thinker is a very unpopular thing in our world. It always has been... and while it may have become a bit less so as more have opened their eyes and begun rejecting the notion that it is virtuous to believe things without subjecting them to any intellectual scrutiny, those of us who refuse to shut down our minds in submission to whatever ideas are being sold by those who have very relaxed logical requirements are often persecuted. Perhaps we are even more persecuted than those who seem to think they are singled out for punishment because they are religious.


I've had people totally stop talking to me because I've disagreed with them on popular scientific theories that are made more of the imaginings of a great thinker than of any basis in actual science. People get certain ideas in their heads and will defend them with whatever they can simply because they want to believe, ignoring any evidence (if they are ever even exposed to any) to the contrary.


I've received death threats regularly every time I've discussed publicly via A.M./F.M. radio or internet radio the fact that I am an atheist. Ironically, these death threats often come from people who claim to be Christians, although some also claim to be of other religious persuasions.


When it comes to beliefs or theories, I don't try to convince people one way or another, I simply present real, factual information which they are ignoring, and to those who want to believe, that is very annoying. Sometimes there are people whom I respect as having an intellect that would allow them to appreciate having additional information which they may not have considered who do not appreciate it at all because their desire to believe on an emotional level is stronger than their thirst for actual knowledge. Having additional and possibly opposing information doesn't necessarily prove something as untrue, but if it's true, opposing information shouldn't be a problem.


I have personally seen people whom I thought would always accept me turn their backs on our friendship when they learn that I am not a believer. Some do so immediately on discovering this, others do so gradually after a series of failed attempts to convert me. It's more painful than you can imagine to think that a belief in an invisible entity and the associated beliefs, rules, and regulations are more important than the very real, tangible connection two real, flesh and blood people can have together.


Some turn their backs on their non-believing fellow humans because they think we are being unkind in revealing things about their beliefs that simply make no sense to us (or perhaps, even to them). Others do so because they fear, even if subconsciously, that we are on to something, and they can't handle the possibility that Santa - I mean - "God" - isn't real.


Luckily, I have just as many Christian and non-Christian religious friends who, while they disagree with my assertion that faith in one invisible entity over another makes no sense, are perfectly content to allow me to be who I am and who still recognize that I am every bit as "Buddha-like" or "Christ-like" in my behavior as they are, with the one and only difference in the two of us being that I do not believe in supernatural things.


As someone who is always interested in learning new things, I'm quite connected to a variety of different people who hold an equally wide variety of beliefs, philosophies, and secular practices. Over the past decade, I've had several people suggest to me that I join them in calling my philosophy "Christian Atheism", and that I refer to myself as an Atheist Christian as they refer to themselves.


For those who are unfamiliar with the concept, or who may mistakenly assume that the words Christian and Atheist together create nothing more than an oxymoron, allow me to explain: Christian Atheists reject the notion of a supernatural entity while following the moral teachings of Jesus Christ. This should not be confused with those to whom some Christians negatively refer as "atheist Christians" who call themselves Christians but who supposedly "act like atheists". (Whatever that means - probably that the person does not act as if they have any morals, which is unlike most atheists I know, but that's another topic for later discussion.)


Many Christians view atheists as immoral, hateful people to be avoided completely other than to pray for them. It is true that many atheists may seem hateful to religious people who constantly approach them as if they must be angry, bitter people who, if only they would open their hearts, they would certainly become Christians and suddenly stop requiring anything to make sense and just accept whatever they are told by those who want them to join the church.


I am no more angry than the average Christian, and I certainly do not conduct myself in a hateful manner. This is why it is so frustrating to be accused of doing just that when I am confronted with someone who so desperately wants me to believe and I refuse to do so based on faith alone without credible evidence. Not only do I refuse to believe in the supernatural aspects of anything without requiring credible evidence, but I am quite good at pointing out what doesn't make sense in a way that frustrates those who have given little or no thought to why they actually believe as they do and are, therefore, unable to come up with anything logical to counter what I am saying, since their faith requires no logic... only blind adherence... or does it?


Those who believe in supernatural things do not believe based on faith alone. If that were the case, they would believe in EVERY religion, and that isn't possible, since so many are in opposition to one another. There's also the fact that, even though the claim is that it's all about faith, there are still constant attempts to "prove" the things they believe in are valid and real to those of us who don't believe. It's as if the fact that others exist who do not believe is a constant reminder to them of their own doubt, and the only way they can remove the annoyance is to convert those who do not believe. The fear associated with the belief in an "eternal lake of burning fire" prevents them from ever considering that their own beliefs might warrant some scrutiny. It's quite a conundrum. Fear is a powerful thing, and those who truly have concern for their friends that they may end up suffering an eternal torture in the lake of fire never consider that there are others in different religious groups who have just as much concern for them, as their religion clearly tells them that Christians are the ones who are "the great Satan" and will suffer an eternal damnation upon their deaths.


Before I go on, however, I should point out that I was once EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS myself! I am not an atheist because I have never been exposed to religion. On the contrary, I grew up with a father who played the organ at just about every version of Christian church there is throughout my childhood, and I went to Sunday school at those churches when he was playing there. I also was a youth pastor for several years, and even considered going to seminary at one point to become a minister myself. (This was in part due to a really cool lady who was a minister at a church I practically lived in growing up.)


Even then it was clear to me that even within the Christian faith, there are many variations, all claiming to be the "right" one, yet all different. Still, I believed. I believed because this is what I had always been taught, and because it seemed such a way of life and such an integral part of the community that it was inconceivable that it couldn't be valid. I never even considered that the supernatural wasn't valid. It never crossed my mind.


Much like a fish in an aquarium, there was no world outside of Christianity for me until I grew up and began traveling and learning about the many other religions, learning just how many religions have similar beliefs to Christianity and yet came before Christianity. Many do not realize that non-Christian religions long before Christianity believed in an immaculately conceived savior complete with resurrection of said savior after death. The concept simply is not unique, and yet many Christians who know little or nothing about religions other than their own assume they have the monopoly on these ideas, which actually seem to be quite universal.


I once made the same weak arguments for why others should believe in what I believed as a Christian as those who try to convert me do today, believing that they were oh-so-strong at the time. Every time a Christian comes to me with "new" information they've discovered, I think back a couple of decades and remember making the same "discoveries".


When I share with these people that I've heard these things before, they get offended and accuse me of calling them "stupid". Let me be clear: I have many very intelligent friends, some of them with Ph.D.'s and who are very accomplished people, who are Christians. One of my dearest friends is an ordained deacon in the Episcopal church in New York City who was a first-responder on "9/11" and I have much respect for him and he is a very brilliant, sharp-minded man.


I myself was baptized in the Episcopal church, and in my experience the Episcopal church doesn't take "The Holy Bible" quite as literally as some brands of Christianity, which is why my parents preferred it over other churches.


I also grew up with some of the most wonderful people walking on this earth who are members of The Disciples of Christ denomination of Christianity. They are some of the most accepting, compassionate, kind, loving people I've ever known. They, too, seem to understand that love is a behavior and not just a word, and there is no singling out of any person or group of people for judgment according to "The Holy Bible", which actually seems to condemn everyone for most everything if you choose to take it literally or as more than an attempt of ancient people to make sense of a world that often left them bewildered.


It isn't a matter of intelligence whether you are religious or not. It's a matter of whether you exercise that intelligence in a way that allows you to participate in certain cultural practices without allowing your mind to be a hostage to those who wish to manipulate you for their own nefarious purposes or simply because they want you to be like them.


I think many people are secretly "closet atheists" or at the very least "closet agnostics". I know many people who are willing to openly say that they don't know whether their religious beliefs are true, but that they don't care - they are content to participate in their chosen religion as if it is while being reasonable and willing to admit that they could be wrong. For them, the community, culture, and fellowship is more important than the belief itself, which is why I sometimes think it would make more sense if we fostered more non-religious community organizations to give those who are not religious a sense of purpose and focus for their philanthropic efforts.


It was a long road that brought me to the realization that so much of what we are told simply isn't true. Ultimately, I realized that, while it makes no sense to me to believe anything just because someone wrote about it long ago in a land far away, the principles I had learned when I was a Christian were still valid: it still makes sense to love your neighbor, to show kindness and help those who are in need. Compassion, kindness, love... that is my religion if I must have one.


The reason my friends have suggested I should call myself Christian with a qualifier of "atheist" is that those who know me see me as one who behaves in a very "Christ-like" manner when it comes to the way I treat people. I have had more than one person tell me that, if anyone has a reason to be bitter about how life has treated them, it's me. I, however, do not feel that way at all. I accept responsibility for my mistakes, and in so doing there is no reason to be bitter - not even towards myself. I'm human. I've done the best I've known how to do with what I've had to contend with in life. I've had some tough times, but I've also had some wonderful times. I'd say overall, it balances out.


I'm a chronic optimist. Some even say that my optimism is what gets me into trouble, since I sometimes overestimate what is possible, allowing my enthusiasm to get me carried away. This is yet another reason why I have made diligent efforts toward more realistic thinking over the past few years.


I'm still on the fence about whether it makes sense to call myself an Atheist Christian/Christian Atheist. First of all, if I were going to refer to myself using any religious label along with atheism, it would probably be "Atheist Jew" or "Jewish Atheist". This is because, after studying Judaism and reading Rabbi David Aaron's "Endless Light: The Ancient Path of Kabbalah", I realized that the information contained in that book was closer to what Jesus was trying to say than what has become perverted in many churches today into a distorted version of what Jesus himself studied, learned, and taught. (We are all fragments of a large vessel that shattered and are in the process of reconnecting. In other words: we are all a piece of "God".)


I highly recommend that anyone should give that book a read... atheists, Christians, Jews, secularists... it gives much insight into the parables and hidden meanings in the stories of "The Old Testament" in "The Holy Bible". Particularly interesting are the passages about where the veil actually comes from in a wedding ceremony and what it symbolizes, the difference between a grabbing hand and a cupped hand... it's all very beautiful and profound, even if you don't believe in supernatural things. It's part of the meaning behind the stories in "The Holy Bible", which contains the Torah, and which the Jews will always understand more deeply than any "Christian" could ever hope to without studying Judaism like Jesus himself did.


Speaking of "The Old Testament", this is where I get really upset when it comes to any religion which refers to "The Holy Bible" as something that should be revered, and here is why:


In Chapter 22 of the book "Genesis", Abraham is held up as a faithful hero for being willing to sacrifice (KILL) his son, Isaac. I don't care whether in the end he "didn't end up having to kill him" because "God was only testing him" or not. The point is, the man was willing to KILL his own son because he believed that "God" wanted him to, and supposedly "God" was just "testing" him to see if he would be willing to do so (being an obviously egotistical god) and yet, supposedly because this god was also merciful, Isaac's life was spared once this demanding, egotistical murderer saw that Abraham was, indeed, willing to go that far if asked to do so by this invisible entity. In a court of law, "God" would be convicted of conspiracy to commit murder. Why is it okay for an invisible entity to do this and not okay for a human? It's not okay with me no matter who, or what, you are.


If you don't understand why I have a problem with this, let me ask you: Would YOU be willing to kill YOUR child if you believed that your god wanted you to? Seriously?


If your answer is yes, then you should immediately have your children taken from you and placed into protective custody, because anyone who believes they should do so if their god tells them to is subject to, at any time, believing that their god wants them to do so. I don't care if "The New Testament" supposedly did away with the old laws and requirements or not, the idea that anyone would be willing to do so if required to by their god even with the safety net of "but that would never be required because of 'The New Testament' or because "Jesus died on the cross so we wouldn't have to" is simply too disturbing for me to stomach.


If your answer is no, then you apparently do not truly believe in the omnipotent power and respectability of your god, and I challenge you to ask yourself why you should be religious at all. You either believe in the authority of this invisible being or you don't. If you one day become convinced that your god wants you to kill your own child and are unwilling to do so, it means that you realize that this is an unreasonable god and unreasonable gods don't deserve our reverence.


For that matter, no book which condones anyone being willing to kill their own child for the sake of proving their devotion or faithfulness should be revered, whether the requirement is there to fulfill it or not, simply requiring that you be willing to do so is unacceptable to me... and if you like "The Holy Bible" because of the many nice things it says, then you might want to consider that there are many other books of philosophy which contain those same ideas (ideas which were around long before there was ever a written set of scriptures) which do NOT contain passages painting those willing to commit murder as being morally upright, respectable people.


Perhaps you think I'm ridiculous for having a problem with this, but I'm here to tell you (because my father did not sacrifice ME at an alter to appease any gods) that there are PLENTY of people who start out only as delusional as is required to believe in supernatural entities and end up becoming progressively more delusional to the point where THEY DO MURDER THEIR CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE THEIR GOD WANTS THEM TO!


Surely you haven't forgotten Andrea Yates? She drowned all five of her children in a bathtub because she believed it was the only way she could save them from hell. Sure, she was mentally ill, suffering from postpartum depression, and she had been on some very heavy medication. However, her actions were not very different at all from Abraham and his willingness to kill his son. The only difference is that "God" didn't send a goat/goats to keep her from killing her kids. I'm against anything, written or otherwise, which is taught to people in conjunction with morality and teachings of virtue which also includes teaching such nonsense as a willingness to kill anyone, especially an innocent child, simply to appease a god. It should sound completely insane to any sane human being no matter what context in which it is presented, and if it doesn't, then you are possibly closer to doing some crazy things in the name of religion than you yourself realize or are willing to admit.


Of course, there's also the issue I have with those who eat bacon, crab, lobster, shrimp, and other foods condemned in "The Old Testament" while claiming strong "convictions" that homosexual relationships are "wrong" and voting against allowing gay couples to legally marry, legislating selectively whatever their holy book says according to their own prejudices and conveniently overlooking their own desires which are also considered abominations.


These are things which, when I confront those who tell me why I should go back to believing without requiring proof, frustrate those who thought they had the perfect argument, and it is then that I am persecuted by THEM as being rude, hateful, inconsiderate, or hurting their feelings with my refusal to shut down my brain in favor of submitting to their particular brand of religion.


Interestingly, those who are members of differing religions in opposition to the religions of others are often more accepted than those of us who have no beliefs in any religious doctrine.


I should interject here that I have many friends who are religious but who do not take "The Holy Bible" literally, and they are wonderful people. Perhaps it is because they recognize that "The Holy Bible" is a collection of writings made by people in an attempt to document their history more than anything else, and that as such, it is prone to the own limited understanding that those people had of their world at the time. They are somehow able to keep that perspective while gleaning whatever wisdom they find in the scriptures, separating the wheat from the chaff, as it were.


I have much respect for those who go and do wonderful things in the name of religion, but I am also aware that people also do terrible things in the name of religion. Our upcoming ten year anniversary of "9/11", those horrible multiple terrorist attacks on not only America, but on humanity as a whole, is the sad reminder of that.


Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all do wonderful things simply because we want to, because we love our fellow humans, without requiring a belief in the supernatural to be a prerequisite? Wouldn't it be wonderful if people started owning their actions, their attitudes, and their minds rather than cloaking it all in religious garb?


I tend to think that if we did, there would be far fewer people doing horrible things and cloaking them in religious garb as well.


But back to the question of whether I should call myself an "Atheist Christian" in order to help others understand what atheism really is and that I am no different than they are other than my lack of belief in supernatural things.


While it might accomplish that goal, it would, in my mind, also continue to perpetuate the myth that atheists are typically devoid of compassion, kindness, love, and morals by adding a qualifier... as if to say "Most atheists are immoral assholes, but not me. I'm a friendly atheist."


I refuse to associate with assholes, whether they are atheists, Christians, Jews, Muslims, or Wiccans. I dislike assholes.


So for now, I'll continue to call myself an atheist, which, by the way, simply means that I am without a belief in gods... any of them. And I'll add, that every Christian is also an atheist with regard to the thousands of gods other than the Christian "God", I simply believe in one less god than they do.


Perhaps that's the best way to explain who I am: I do not believe in the Christian "God" for the same reason that a Christian does not believe in any of the other gods. It has no bearing whatsoever on my how I live my life or who I am as a person.


Sadly, many seem to place a higher value on the "faith" in the supernatural things related to religion than they do in the actual behaviors that Jesus Christ is said to have taught: treating people with compassion, fellowship, kindness, and respect, refraining from passing judgment on others while engaging in "abominable sins" according to "The Holy Bible" (like eating shrimp) themselves.


In the end, it's all about showing that they view love as more than just a word, but a behavior to be shown, even to us atheists.


I appreciate the prayers of those who pray, because to me it is an expression of love and concern. It isn't necessary for me to believe that it has any special powers beyond that. The expression of love is powerful enough.


I am touched when a Christian friend expresses concern for me because they don't want me to burn in hell. The fact that I don't believe in hell doesn't make their concern any less appreciated for me. I hope nobody burns in hell, because that means there is a really sadistic god out there without even as much decency as the average Christian human, and that just baffles me.


If I were the parent of a deity named God, I would admonish him that he created these beings, and he needs to grow the HELL up (no pun intended) and deal with what he created rather than punishing his creations because they aren't what he wanted them to be. You're the omnipotent deity, why the hell can't you create people that will do what you want, even if they DO have free will? Why can't you create them to have the will to do what you want them to? Oh wait... that would be boring, which must mean this is all just how you entertain yourself. Why don't you stop torturing your creations and go read a book instead? I can recommend the books of quite a few of your people you supposedly created... they're really great reads... but you should already know that.


To me, the behavior of the Christian god and the Muslim god and many of the other gods is not even up to par with the average human being when it comes to morality. Why should humans not murder one another if the entity that supposedly created us seems to have murdered more of us in "The Holy Bible" than any terrorist could ever dream of murdering? This is the example you're setting? No wonder almost 3,000 people died ten years ago on September 11. And this whole "sacrificing your son" business just doesn't wash with me, but you should already expect that, since you already know everything about me and since you apparently created me. Deal with it.


I do my best to admonish my fellow-atheists to show the same love and compassion toward Christians and others whom they may view as misguided as they'd like to be shown by believers. I'd like to be a bridge between the two, and at one time I thought that perhaps calling myself an Atheist Christian would accomplish that goal, but really, I think it would just perpetuate the false beliefs people already have about atheists in general... that without the label of a specific set of beliefs attached, no person who is without belief in supernatural things could possibly be a decent person. That just doesn't make sense to me. And I really need things to make sense.


A.



Sunday, September 4, 2011

He's My Uncle, And I'll Cry If I Want To

"The key thing to remember is that we'll never convince extremists to change. That's not the point. We must counter BS, wherever we find it."


I really don't feel like writing about this, because it's very upsetting to me. However, a very Yoda-like mentor of mine has warned me that if I don't get it off of my chest, it will weigh me down to the point of distraction, so here it goes:


Last weekend, Hurricane Irene was bearing down on the east coast. My Uncle Greg had sent a message that the storm was pretty strong there, and mentioned that he'd gathered some supplies, including "battery-powered everything he could find" in case the power went out.


I jokingly replied that he shouldn't have talked his husband, my bonus Uncle Jim, out of purchasing that generator he was thinking about last year, and we bantered back and forth about it.


A couple days later, I learned that Jim was in the hospital after experiencing chest pain while exercising, and there were plans to put in a stint. Shortly thereafter, I was told that a stint wouldn't be possible, as the area in trouble was not accessible any other way than via open-heart surgery. It seemed a little more serious, but I knew that David Letterman and Regis Philbin had survived triple and quintuple bypass surgeries, so I was concerned, but not necessarily alarmed... until, that is, I learned that after additional tests the decision was made to schedule the surgery much more quickly than originally planned.


Jim is a seventy-something who is very active and youthful. It's difficult for me to remember sometimes that he's not in his 50's, which is what most people would assume based on his appearance and his "zip". Though he may be retired from his job of 30+ years as a private school principal, he's always zipping around the house, cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes, working in the yard, running errands, and stays very active volunteering at the Episcopal church which he attends quite regularly.


Regular readers of my blog know that Jim has been a member of our family for 25+ years, which is how long he and Greg have been together. However, it wasn't until 2009 that Greg and Jim were able to legally marry, affording them the same respect under the law that any couple willing to commit to one another and add to the stability of their community deserves.


There were many years which I had nothing to do with any of my family members. It wasn't because I didn't want to have anything to do with any of them, but more that there were some who had said and done some extremely hurtful things to me in the past and which were so toxic for me to be around that I truly felt the only way I could insulate myself from the pain was to completely sever all ties with everyone in the family.


During that time, I frequently thought of those family members with whom I have a strong emotional connection and how much I missed them, how I wondered what was going on in their lives and hoped they were happy. It was as if I lived in another world - another dimension. It was very difficult in many ways, but I am 100% certain that if I had not kept a certain distance I would never have had the focus to work in the fields in which I worked for many years successfully, and while I wouldn't change how I chose to protect myself all those years, I do regret the time lost with the people with whom I am now reconnected.


Now that most of the people who were the source of much of my anguish are deceased I have been able to reconnect with some family members. It has been a wonderful experience catching up and getting reacquainted. In many ways, we're just getting to know one another for the first time, since I was only about 19 when I began isolating myself.


Fast forward to the present, and I've really gotten to know my Uncle Jim. Truly, he is a beautiful person through and through, and both he and Greg are people who truly seem to have a grasp on what "unconditional love" really means.


Once the severity of the situation sunk in, I became very worried... worried about Jim, worried about Greg and how he would handle the stress of it all... I'm quite certain that the situation brought back memories for Greg of his older brother and my father, Ben, who died at age 38 of brain cancer in 1985.


My grandfather and bonus grandmother were supposed to be flying up to Massachusetts for a visit with Greg and Jim this Labor Day weekend, but the trip was postponed due to Jim's illness. We all kept in touch throughout the week and tried to stay optimistic. Those friends and family who pray were diligent in prayer, and those of us who aren't religious comforted ourselves with the knowledge that there were excellent medical professionals and surgeons involved, and we also knew that since Greg is an M.D. he would be diligent in making sure every possible extra step and precaution that could be taken would be.


As a side note, let me say that I'm very grateful for my bonus aunt, Ann, who was part of the circle of communication. I'd also like to credit my friend Gina Lynette, who inspired me to begin using the term "bonus" instead of "step-aunt", "step-grandmother", or "aunt-in-law". Truly, any time one has a relative who marries or remarries, it is a bonus when the family grows in diversity, regardless of the form that diversity takes. We all have different ideas and opinions about various things, but we all love one another, and that love takes precedence over anything else.


I was unable to sleep Wednesday night as I struggled with anxiety of what the outcome would be for Jim during surgery the next day. I had hope and a strong confidence that everything would be alright, and yet, even the remote possibility that the outcome would be different than what we were all hoping for was enough to rattle me.


I waited all day Thursday and checked in with Greg to see how things were going, and around six or so in the evening I got word that the surgery was successful and Jim was back in his room.


At the time I received the message, I was going over some plans with a couple of employees of a company which hired me to handle some marketing projects for them over the coming months. I've worked with them in the past, and I had warned them that I might be a little distracted at our meeting that afternoon. One guy, I'll call him "J", who is known for being a right-wing conservative, seemed a bit annoyed with me. His answers to queries I had about the project were rather short and he seemed hostile. I couldn't figure out what I had done to cause this, but reminded myself that it could very well be a problem he was having that had nothing to do with me, and tried to overlook it.


Those who don't know me in real life might not have an accurate understanding of just how sensitive I can be. It's both a strength and a weakness of mine. Being empathetic and sensitive can make one very perceptive, which is a definite advantage when it comes to relating to people and deflecting problems. Unfortunately, it can also leave one raw and vulnerable. As I've matured over the years I've become better at putting up my emotional shield, sometime to the point where I'm misunderstood by those who mistake my critical thinking skills and refusal to buy into what so many are selling without reason as making me a detached, unfeeling person. However, those who know me would never make that mistake.


The people under discussion know me, but don't know me that well. I suppose when I had to take a break and my eyes welled up with tears of joy and relief at knowing that Jim was on the road to recovery they were caught off guard, since people I work with don't normally see that side of me. One minute I'm fine and talking about programming an iPhone app, the next I'm welling up with tears after glancing at my phone and seeing the pop up message on my screen.


I excused myself so I could gather my wits and get some fresh air, which apparently really annoyed "J". When we were wrapping things up for the evening, there was discussion about going out for an early Labor Day weekend celebration, and "J", who has expressed interest in having me as a dinner date in the past, asked if I wanted to come along.


I explained that, while I was happy that my Uncle Jim was recovering after a successful heart surgery, I was feeling quite drained and felt more like going home and having some quiet time. That's when it happened... "J" let loose with a very caustic "I wish you wouldn't refer to him as your uncle. He's not your uncle in my eyes, and I don't agree with that."


"That" apparently refers to the legal relationship between my Uncles Greg and Jim. He doesn't agree with it. He doesn't agree with it because he believes his religious book, "The Holy Bible", says it is wrong, and therefore, it annoys him that I affirm it by using the word "uncle" when referring to my blood uncle's spouse, who happens to be a man and happens to be my uncle, and was my uncle long before the state of Massachusetts allowed taxpaying homosexuals to get married so they could take part in the same benefits they are forced to pay into and in which straight couples are able to take part.


I know my loyal blog readers are expecting me to share with you the tirade which you are no doubt certain that I launched against this douche bag. Perhaps you are already aware that in my vivid imagination, I have since fantasized about playing the role of O-ren Ishii in Kill Bill 1 and collecting this asshole's head.


However, in the moment when I was experiencing this very insensitive, downright cruel behavior from a clearly bigoted jackass, I was unable to respond in the fashion one would predict for a freedom-fighting, free-thinking person such as myself. Instead, my reaction was this:


I wept.


I wept as I was driving home, and when I got home, I sobbed.


I wasn't hurting for myself as much as I was for every person on this planet who has ever, is now, or ever will be the subject of conversation by self-righteous idiots who think they have the moral high ground over other people with whom they "don't agree with", or with whose "lifestyles" they "don't agree with".


And now, for the record, and in the spirit of countering bullshit with facts, let me be clear about some things that I do not agree with:


I, for one, do not agree with eating chicken livers. Chicken livers are not only disgusting to look at in my opinion, they are also nasty-tasting organs which filter waste in the body, and that's not an opinion, it's a fact. However, I have many friends (and one roommate) who loves chicken livers, and I would never, EVER, withhold love or compassion or act in a cruel manner to any person who eats chicken livers.


"But Angie, that's different. We're talking about a moral issue, not a food choice. Food choices are not religious or moral issues, but choice in sexual partners and the choice to practice those choices is a religious and moral issue."


Oh yeah? Well then, allow me to put it this way:


Forget for a moment that sexual orientation has been proven time and again not to be a choice. It isn't a choice to be attracted to the same sex anymore than it is a straight person's choice to be attracted to the opposite sex. If you can't pray away the straight, you can't pray away the gay.


In the Jewish faith, and in the Christian faith for those who diligently follow the book of Leviticus in "The Old Testament" portion of "The Holy Bible", eating pork or shellfish is considered sinful. 


Many believe "The Holy Bible" says that homosexuality is an abomination, (It doesn't. It actually says "laying with a man as you would with a woman", as in disrespectfully using a person's body with no regard for that person as anything but property, as women were treated and often still are by many men.)


However, there is no room for doubt when it comes to "The Holy Bible" and its claim that an omnipotent god finds eating pork or shellfish to be an abomination. It is very clearly stated.


Interesting how people pick and choose which abomination they will use as an excuse to hate others, and which they will ignore when they feel like chowing down on some BBQ pork ribs or BACON, BACON, BACON!!!


Oh, and let's not forget: it is not Kosher for a Jewish person to eat meat and dairy together, and there are strict rules for how food preparation must be conducted so as to never use even the same utensils or sinks as meat for preparing meals using dairy products. I have more than one Jewish friend who honors these traditions, but nope. They wouldn't hate on someone who married someone who eats pepperoni and cheese pizza.


So back to why I was really crying... I forgot to mention that what disturbs, frightens, and hurts me the most from this encounter, is the forced realization that, despite the fact that we have built an international space station which resides outside of the earth's atmosphere, have the ability to prevent polio, and have achieved incredible advances in the fields of science and medicine, we are still living in a world infected with humans who do not possess the discernment to recognize that their attitudes and behaviors are driven by fear and ignorance, often willfully so, in order to justify a primitive, hate-based reaction to something which they either do not prefer for themselves or don't understand and/or dislike in others.


This whole situation gives me flashbacks to when my father was dying of brain cancer and there were people at school who said he was being punished by god for being attracted to men.


Even as I type these words, I can feel my stomach tumbling. It's sickening.


There. I said what I had to say. I can't say that I feel better, but at least I'm not carrying the burden by myself any longer, and hopefully someone will read this and realize what an absolute jackass they are and maybe humble themselves enough to admit that they have been wrong to single out one group of allegedly "abominable" people over another.


If not, maybe they'll at least stop being hypocrites and engaging in the abominable behavior of consuming bottom-feeding crustaceans and other "unclean" animals and there will be less crab, lobster, and pork consumed. After all, that leaves more food for heathens like me who refuse to allow ancient people who had no idea where lightning comes from to dictate what we eat for dinner.


A.