Atheists and Religionists: Finding Common Ground

On April, 8 (this past Wednesday), I was a call-in guest on the Hallerin Hilton Hill morning radio show. I've been on the show twice before over the past decade, and even though I frequently disagree with H.H.H. (as we affectionately call him) on many issues, I respect his professionalism and his willingness to give those who disagree with him a chance to state their case.


The topic was the atheist clubs being proposed for after-school hours in public schools across the nation, and H.H.H. was taking the view that there is "too much politics in school and not enough learning" (I'm paraphrasing.) I agree, but when it's not during school, and after school instead, I don't know if that is relevant.


Furthermore, atheism is ABOUT learning... evaluating information intellectually and questioning things - learning to develop critical thinking skills. There may be too much politics in schools and not enough learning, but when there are kids who can recite lengthy passages from "The Holy Bible" chapter and verse, but who do not understand the scientific criteria and definition of a "theory" and why creationism doesn't qualify to be taught in science class, there's clearly too much religion in school as well.


There were so many callers who didn't seem to understand what atheism is really all about that I felt strongly about clearing the air. Atheism isn't about hating religious people or belittling them, it's not about rejecting morals or values. It's about THINKING, questioning that which we've been spoon-fed all of our lives, and evaluating information free of emotional manipulation or other attempts people often make to sway us to their way of thinking.


Atheists don't "know" that there is no god. That is not possible for anyone to know on an intellectual level. Period. Sure, religious folk say that they "know" there *is* a god, but they are referring to the emotion-based feelings they have on the matter, not to factual information.


Of course, I realize that the lack of proof is not proof of anything. This is why I don't say "there is no god". What I *do* say is that "I know that I do not believe there is a god". Now, when I say that I know we are all connected to one another in a very real way, some say I'm not really an atheist. When I say that I could be wrong and there may one day be proof that there is a god, others accuse me of being an agnostic, but that is not the case.


An agnostic is on the fence about whether they think there is a god or not. I am not. I am 100% certain that I do not believe there is a man up in the sky throwing down bolts of lightning on people who disobey him. And, if there were a god and he were the kind of asshole who would tell us he loves us but that he's going to throw us in a burning lake of fire if we piss him off, that god would not be worthy of my obedience or respect, even if he DID create me.


That kind of a god is LESS than human. NO human mother in her right mind would ever even consider throwing her child into a burning lake of fire for all eternity for being disobedient. Even if her child said he/she hated their mother and accused her of not really being their mother I can't imagine a mother doing that to her child. If she would, then she's a waste of human flesh.


But yet, we tolerate this kind of behavior from a god? I think I've made my point.


At any rate, I received many hateful e-mails and messages from some Christians who didn't like the fact that I had dared to speak out in favor of atheist clubs, since (especially in the bible belt where I live) it can be very difficult, if not downright dangerous, to be an atheist. I've received threats from Christians accusing me of being "the devil incarnate" and all kinds of nonsense. I don't know that one of these crazies isn't going to hunt me down the way some homophobes have hunted down and killed homosexuals. But I am still who I am, and I'm not about to pretend to believe when I don't for *any* reason.


Everyone who knows me well knows that I am a kind, compassionate person. I go out of my way much of the time to help others when I can, sometimes in small ways and other times in more significant ways. I don't usually talk about the things I do, because I have no reason to. I don't do things for others for praise, because I'm trying to stay out of hell, or because I want to get into heaven or impress anyone. I do them because I have love in my heart for my fellow humans. All of them. Even the ones who do awful things.


Sometimes, when I am caught doing good deeds, people say to me "That sure was nice of you. You must be a Christian." That makes me sad. It means that people really do believe that Christians have the monopoly on good behavior. (They do not.) It means that many people have no concept of the human's capability to do good within them, independent of any belief system.


Recently, I've reconnected with many of my old high school pals. I don't know of any of them who are atheists. Some of them are very devout Christians, a couple are even pastors. The last thing I want is for any of these dear people to think that I look down on them or feel intellectually superior to them. I do not. I know nothing more than they do. I simply require more evidence before I can believe in something that doesn't make sense to me, and they have something I lack: faith.


Faith is something that, even though it doesn't require evidence by definition, still is based on something more than just faith with regard to in *what* or which religion one has faith in, otherwise everyone would have faith in every religion, which doesn't make sense, since many religions are in direct opposition to one another.


I'll get more into religious discussions and details in later blog posts, but the main point of this blog post is that I think it's important to overcome the fear of rejection and not be afraid to be honest about what you believe and/or feel, even if that means some people will hate you and others will become distant and/or avoid you.


My father spent years in the closet, and only when he began to come out did he begin to truly feel alive. I have had to keep many secrets in my lifetime - whether about my father's sexuality or other family matters, work-related details from non-disclosure projects I've worked on over the years, or even secrets others have asked me to keep.


We all keep secrets. Some of them we truly need to keep. But those that require us to pretend to be someone we are not, to deny the very core of who we are and what we believe, are simply not healthy.


Unfortunately, some people are hurt by my lack of faith - they fear for me, pray for my salvation, and hope that I will one day come around if they keep praying. In fact, half of the town I live in is probably praying for me daily at this point. After I stated my case on the H.H.H. show, many people called in to the show and mentioned me by name, saying they "felt sorry" for me and were praying for me.


Many atheists I know are offended when others say they are praying for them or view it as a wasted effort. I, however, am always moved when someone says they are praying for me, because I know it is their way of letting me know they care about me. Even if I don't believe in the god they are praying to, I *do* believe there is power in the knowledge that someone cares enough about you to pray for you. That is very meaningful, and that alone can give us the strength to face whatever difficulties may lay ahead.


I may not "pray", but I think of others and wish them well, lend support by sharing words of encouragement, and offer assistance when appropriate. It really isn't necessary to pray for someone in order to show support, and for many, prayer becomes a substitute for doing what really needs to be done, like helping a terminally ill patient by bringing meals to the home while they are receiving chemotherapy and unable to cook, for example.


I've been fortunate enough to know MANY wonderful people who also happen to be Christians. They do *not* use prayer as a substitute for taking action, but as a supplementary way of showing they care. One of my classmates is an awesome photographer, and his church sponsors missionaries to travel overseas to places like Haiti and do missionary work. I'm proud to know him.


Another classmate, a pastor who is currently experiencing many health issues that prevent him from working, finds ways to encourage others via his blogs. I'm also proud to know him.


So many of us who have reconnected have found new friends in those we didn't know that well back in grade school, renewed old friendships, and discovered that old rivalries and those we may not have gotten along with way back when are wonderful people. Funny how the silly things of childhood melt away when you're 40-something and you are just happy to know that there are others who remember the music you loved back then. :-)


Many people are fond of saying "If more people were believers, we wouldn't have the problems we have today." I don't understand how believing what people wrote about thousands of years ago who had no idea where lightning comes from makes our problems go away. Faith, by itself, accomplishes nothing. Perhaps they mean that faith is what would cause people to behave in more loving ways, but again, that doesn't require faith. I'm not so cynical as to believe that the only way people have the capacity to do good is if they believe in something that tells them what they should and shouldn't do in order to avoid being thrown into a burning lake of fire without questioning it.


As I recently posted elsewhere among friends, my message to everyone (atheists and religionists alike) is:


Love is a behavior, not a word. It's not a religion, it's not a belief. It's a behavior. It's about how you treat other people. Period. If we all learned and practiced love, we wouldn't have the problems we have today.


Another classmate, and I have no idea whether he has religious views or not, recently posted on Facebook: "When I witness how supportive we all are of one another now, I wonder, 'Had we been this way 30 years ago, how happy and secure we might have been earlier in life and in turn all that we might have achieved.' Thanks everybody and keep up the good work!"


Indeed. Good work. No faith required.


A.