2010 - The Year In Review

WOW. What a year it's been.


First, an update on my Redneck Cinderella Story: I got my coat back just in time for the big snow and ice storms we had last week! Yay!


It turns out that even though the guy who ended up with my coat (and I with his) dips Skoal, he's not a redneck at all. Actually, he's a pretty cool guy who works at a radio station in town (small world) and he's not bad looking. (But of course, he's married. Like they say, all the good ones are either married or...) The inside of our coats are IDENTICAL, with the same lining and the same inside pocket. What a great story though - go to a party and get to know more cool people a week later you didn't meet AT the party you both attended, simply by switching coats! Who knew?


After a very rough day yesterday (and a nasty LARGE bump on my head) I've decided that before moving on to 2011, it's time to close out the year a day early and spend some time simply reveling in the fact that I've survived it all somehow.


This was quite a year for me. I turned 41, which puts me firmly into my 40's. My federal supervised release ended in February, giving me the freedom to live my life without fear of imprisonment for getting online and blogging about issues important to all freedom-loving folk. (I was forbidden to use a computer or get online for the three years of my supervised release. Kevin Mitnick would be proud!) While struggling to get on my feet and earn a living, I somehow managed to have a social life and reconnect with quite a few people I hadn't seen in decades.


I made two trips to Massachussetts. One was to see my 87-year-old grandfather remarried to a long-time friend of the family in August. (She's just a baby at 78 - grandpa likes to rock the cradle!) The other was to visit my Uncles Greg and Jim for Thanksgiving.


I also visited my mother several times and reconnected with friends I hadn't seen in decades, leaving me feeling as though I've simply been asleep for the past 25 years and have awakened to find people looking not all that much older than the last time I saw them, yet all of us are clearly living in a different world than existed in the 80's.


And then there's Booger. I got Booger in late February of this year, and he certainly changed my life. He keeps me on my feet, for sure, but he also fills the house with his innocence and playful puppy-ness! At 11 months old, he weighs in at around 80 pounds. He. Is. Solid. He chews on rocks when he's bored, that's how solid he is. He can devour a foot-long rawhide tightly-twisted chewy bone in under an hour. (Thanks, Grandma Max!) His adorable floppy ears make me want to just bite them! Ever see something so cute it makes you grit your teeth? That's Booger. He's big, but he's sweet, and he rarely barks, unless he thinks something is amiss, or unless he has something stuck under the couch he can't get to or you tell him "No". He's gone from shredding my flesh with his razor-sharp puppy teeth while playing and trying to chew on me (when he was younger) to putting my entire hand and arm in his mouth and not making a mark at all because he's learned to be gentle when playing, for the most part (and he's got his less-sharp, though no less powerful, adult teeth). He takes treats from my hand ever-so-daintily so as to make sure he doesn't hurt me, then gallops onto the couch and crushes me as he puts his full weight on my lap as though he is still a tiny puppy. Gotta love him! (Now he even supervises me as I blog.)

This Blog Is Booger-Approved!

I've had more than my share of time-wasting frustrations this year. From losing a database I'd worked on for a client all year (and much income as a result) to recently spending several weeks getting AT&T to correct a series of errors on their end that put my bank account in the red by almost $400, to issues with Apple and the iPhone server and a plethora of other business-related customer service issues, these have been the things that have drained my energy, yet they are issues that cannot be ignored.


I've taken a project from local media and moved it to the internet for more potential reach and look forward to seeing growth there in the coming year, and have been propelled forward each day by the encouragement from those who will not let me rest until I make good on my promise to share important information for the benefit of Americans living in a world full of social engineering the likes of which could put Kevin Mitnick to shame.


Most recently, a friend of mine has an ex-wife and mother-in-law who were both hit by a car about three weeks ago (they survived but are very sore), after which the car sped off. Luckily, someone chased the car down, but because it happened in a parking lot, and because nobody was killed, apparently no charges are being filed. (Yeah, that's what I said. WTF?)


Not quite TWO weeks ago, my grandfather and his new bride were in a car accident caused by another driver going much too fast on the icy roads, running them into the side-rail and totaling my grandfather's car. My grandfather is VERY sad about his car. I think it represented the last vestiges of his old life and leaves him feeling as though one more thing has fallen away. Hopefully he will embrace the replacement vehicle and find happiness with what is new.


Speaking of what is new, I've learned not to make any big plans for the new year, as that only seems to invite disaster. Instead, I plan to take advantage of whatever opportunities come my way and move forward with speaking and writing gigs that have been on the back-burner for far too long. Sizzle sizzle!


I closed out the year by starting a new web site at http://www.AngieLeaks.com (a bit of a spoof on the Assange situation and Wikileaks). Can you imagine if everyone had minions of hackers that shut down every business for a full day who pissed them off? Why, that would be 80% of every business in America for me! (Not to mention the entire federal government's so-called "justice" system.) Thanks to Mr. Moon, I had a full evening of fun on Twitter while hopefully providing some food for thought.


I'm grateful for new friends and not-so-new friends. I've definitely discovered the difference between a true friend and a hanger-on, and I tend to find my friends in the most unlikely of places, as is the case with most of life's treasures. I wish for all of you a wonderful and safe new year, with as few time-wasting customer service issues as possible. :-)


See you on the flip side!


A.

TOP TEN REASONS JULIAN ASSANGE MAY BE A DOUCHE

At first, I thought he was a freedom fighter like a lot of other folks did. However, over the past few weeks, it has become increasingly clear to me that Julian Assange and all of his droogs are little more than social engineers. The sad part? Most of his droogs are totally clueless that they are being used by Julian Assange for his own benefit, and it has nothing to do with being a freedom fighter.

Top Ten Reasons Julian Assange Is Likely A Fraud

1. To date, not one serious U.S. government scandal has been revealed by the "leaks" from Wikileaks. Unless, of course, you consider that some of our diplomats have been embarrassed by having derogatory things they said about folks in other countries revealed. Big whoop.
2. The timing of the "leaked" documents is rather suspicious, and Julian Assange may have known that he was about to be arrested for sex crimes. (What kind of DOUCHEBAG has unprotected sex and spreads disease?) Was this "leak" engineered to distract from the fact that Julian Assange is alleged to be a rapist? I don't care if he DIDN'T rape these two women, the fact that he's having unprotected sex with virtual strangers is disgusting and shows him to be an absolute moron who thinks he is above contracting deadly STD's and spreading them to others. Prostitutes get arrested for charging money for PROTECTED sex. If guilty, Julian Assange certainly deserves to be punished for allegedly forcing his unsheathed penis on anyone, regardless of whether they were willing to have PROTECTED sex with him or not.
3. There have, to date, been NO charges filed against Assange in the U.S. There have been many talking heads claiming there may be charges to file, but none have yet been brought. Trust me. If there were charges to be filed, the feds would have found them by now. And, if they do bring charges at a later time, I may or may not see those charges as warranted, depending on the actual charges. However, the fact that the U.S. is angry with Assange gives Assange the perfect excuse to say that the possibly JUSTIFIED rape charges against him are merely a "smear campaign". Yeah, a PAP smear campaign, perhaps, to see if he gave these women any STD's when he allegedly had unprotected sex with them.
4. There is talk of a book deal for Assange with an unnamed (possibly nonexistent) publisher of $1.5 million dollars, although that may also be a socially engineered attempt to draw attention from publishers otherwise not even considering a book deal with Assange. In fact, this whole thing smells of socially engineered stunts designed to gain attention and contributions for Assange and his "organization".
5. Assange claims to have information that will "make an executive at a major bank resign". Hell, every American who has a bank account has information that should result in the resignation of an executive at a major bank. The scandals we have seen at banks recently and the big bailout with banks refusing to lend taxpayers who bailed them out any money aren't enough? OK, big boy, bring it. If you do, I'll take number 5 off the list, but I'm not holding my breath.
6. Julian Assange and his droogs have shut down numerous web sites which has inconvenienced AMERICANS. Our government has not suffered from credit card processing web sites and banks' web sites being shut down. AMERICANS HAVE. In fact, we have suffered far more from such as this than even the company that has had to contend with it, and WE will ultimately be the ones to pay the price in increased fees as a result of this cyber-terrorism.
7. Free speech is valuable to a person like myself. I have libertarian leanings. I am more prone to side with Julian Assange than against him on many issues, but when you make vague claims that you fail to back up, you're not practicing free speech, you're practicing the same kind of social engineering that the U.S. government has been guilty of perpetrating on Americans for decades.
8. If the allegations of Julian Assange and/or Wikileaks accepting stolen documents for publication are accurate, that IS a crime, and while we should be DISGUSTED with our government for failing to protect these documents adequately, Julian and his organization are setting Americans up for MORE RESTRICTIONS on LEGITIMATE freedom of speech AND for prosecution for READING and/or DISCUSSING the documents. One wonders if Assange might even be in cahoots WITH the U.S. government, given the U.S. government's propensity to make as many criminals of its citizens as possible.
9. Bradley Manning, a low-ranking 23-year old military employee accused of leaking documents to Wikileaks, continues to waste away in jail, while Assange enjoys being out on bail in a lush mansion. We should all be so lucky!
10. Julian Assange, while having the potential to do powerful things for the cause of freedom fighters everywhere, has thus far used his abilities only for his own benefit, and often to the detriment of the very freedom fighters which he claims to be among, including you and I, who are left to deal with the fallout as we pay ever-higher prices for bank services and all other services from companies which his droogs continue to sabotage in the name of freedom fighting. I'll fight my own battles, thank you!

An Incomplete Redneck Cinderella Story

Well, it's been a helluva year. The past few weeks seem to have been particularly difficult, and yet I wonder if it's just because beyond that point my memory has simply faded?

Dealing with AT&T has been a total waste of time and an infuriating experience. I am filled with nothing but disgust for them as a corporate entity and for their employees as irresponsible people who seem to make a habit of arrogantly wasting the time of their customers and causing unnecessary hardship. If I didn't have a contract, (and if I wasn't a beta tester for Apple App. developers) I'd have been long gone by now, iPhone be damned.

Luckily, it's that time of year when there is a lot of free entertainment to enjoy, namely, parties at friends' houses. I kept my promise to myself (made a couple of weeks ago) to go to the party being held at the home of a friend of my father's. My father was gay, and most of the people at the party were gay, although there were some of us "breeders" there. (Actually, I've never bred, so I guess I don't fit into either category. I'm just an a-sexual. You can call me Pat.)

Anyway, anybody who knows anything knows that there is NO better party than that involving a significant number of gay people. Why is this? I'll tell you why.

First of all, gay people are, like me and my twin brother, Charlie Brown, downtrodden people. That is to say, they are an oppressed group. Misunderstood. Unfairly judged. Condemned by the ultra-religious. Most of them have developed the very appropriate response of laughing at the society that behaves toward them in this way, and if they didn't develop a great sense of humor and stick together, they wouldn't be able to stand living in this world.


For that reason, I have always gotten along wonderfully with gay folk, and although I've stayed on the straight side in my intimate relationships, I'm definitely one of those people with ambiguous sexuality.


I had never been to the house where the party was, but I had no trouble finding it. All I had to do was follow the trail of parked cars for blocks along the road leading to the house. What a party!


It wasn't that it was all wild and crazy or anything. In fact, I would say most of the attendees were pretty conservative-behaving folk (not talking politics, here). There were families with their grown kids (no young-uns) and one very pregnant gal, gay couples, single folk like me, drag queens (who were not in drag at the party, but clearly, these were guys who could put Burlesque to shame!) and just a great mix of everybody, all getting along great, most of them drinking from the spirited punch bowl as opposed to the un-spirited punch bowl. (If you're an atheist and drink out of the spirited punch bowl, does that mean you're not an atheist anymore? Hmm... the irony.)


It was supposed to be mainly a formal affair I suppose, but I didn't get that memo and many others didn't either, so I didn't feel too bad. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I rarely show up anywhere wearing anything but blue jeans. For my grandfather's wedding, I DID put on a pair of slacks, but even that didn't feel right to me.


It was a huge house, with every room so packed I'm sure the fire marshal would have been concerned, but it made it kind of fun to try and navigate the maze of people to get to the food. And OH THE FOOD! I definitely made the right decision by not eating anything all day - the food was like BUTTAH!


Speaking of BUTTAH, there is a Barbara Streisand room in this house. Or, perhaps I should say, there is a Streisand museum. Quite impressive. Metal pigs are better than no pigs. (You'd have to read Streisand's latest book to understand what that means.)


I mingled around and discovered that some total strangers who were in town for the holidays and at the party with their daughter and her hubster who live in town were from a part of Florida where I used to live and work, so we chatted about all of the cool technology and NASA and how nobody really understands just how many jobs NASA creates indirectly when the space program is active, especially when it comes to subcontractors. (Wow, that was one long run-on sentence! No A+ for me with this blog.)


I spent some time with a dear friend of mine and my dad's, Nick. Sometime I'll have to tell you why Nick is so special to me. He's special to me in a way that nobody else ever can be, and not just because he's a gay man with a movie-star-looking twin sister!


As the party died down and people started to leave, the host (one of three, actually) came and spent some time chatting with me. We talked about our lives a bit and discussed how, even though he's a conservative, he tends to have a lot of libertarian views. (Most people are probably middle-of-the-road libertarians and don't know it.) Yes, I know that I need to explain what I mean by middle-of-the-road libertarian, but not now.


Not long before I was about to leave, a guy who looked very familiar joined our conversation for a moment to say how much he'd enjoyed the party. He was with his mother, who had been walking around earlier saying "Outta my way, fool!" to whomever was blocking her path. Gotta love her for that! I thought she looked familiar, too.


I mentioned to the man that he looked familiar to me, and he said I looked familiar to him as well. (It wasn't an attempted pickup line, as he's gay.) He asked me my name, and when I told him the unmistakable look of recognition washed over his face. This was none other than Robert, whom I had gone to high school with and who showed me his grown son (!) who was also at the party. We exchanged phone numbers, and I marveled at how, for the umpteenth time this year, I'm reconnecting with people I haven't seen in 25 years!


We had both gone to Sunday school together at 4th Presbyterian, where my father played the organ for some time as well. How many times I remember taking my blue jeans with me to that church as a kid so I could change from that icky dress into my holy (literally, not figuratively) jeans. And the delicious cherry tomatoes that my brother and I would pick and take home that grew in the parking lot between cracks in the asphalt. Where does the time go? And Jane, an older woman who went there, ended up sobbing uncontrollably on my shoulder at my father's funeral years later, she being one of many people who were extremely distraught over my father's death at such a young age that they couldn't help but break down as we received guests after the funeral, (it was US comforting THEM, at times) and David, about 20 years my senior and whom I had a HUGE crush on when I was five, who's father had been the pastor of 4th church years earlier, saying "Jane, JANE! Come on, Jane." as he tried to steer her away to allow the line of hundreds of people to progress and pay their respects. My father really was a dear person, and the hundreds (as in possibly 500+ standing room only) of people who showed up at his funeral shocked me, although I suppose looking back it shouldn't have.


My dad's friend Paul relayed the story to me of how, 26 years ago, my father had played the piano at his holiday party and, even though he was worried that my dad wasn't up to it (he had brain cancer and would die months later) and was probably wearing himself out as he kept playing, once my father started playing the piano he just couldn't stop. Gotta love that good old O.C.D. for keeping us going and going and going!


As I prepared to leave, the guy in charge of the coats couldn't find mine. There was one that looked very similar to mine in the dim light, but mine was nowhere to be found. We decided that whomever the one that looked similar to mine belonged to must have mistaken mine for his, which is easy to do in dim light and considering that most of the folks in attendance had had a few dips into the spirited punch bowl.


We asked around and nobody claimed that the coat that looked similar to mine was theirs, so I decided I'd wear that one home (it was very cold outside and I had about a block to walk to get to my car) and left my name and number in the guest book so they could call me if anyone called later saying they'd taken home the wrong coat. (A good idea would have been for everyone to put a slip of paper in their right pocket with their name on it.)


I put the coat on and discovered that there was a can of Skoal in one of the pockets. (I'm using Skoal as a generic term.) Somebody cracked a joke that "you can take the jacket but you can't chew the Skoal". I jokingly whined "Oh MAAAAAAAAN!" Then someone said "Ok, well, you can, but you can't swallow." to which I replied "Don't worry. I'm not a swallower." (Heh.) Only at a party like that could you say such a thing and not shock anyone.


So, when I got home, I found the (most likely male-owned) coat to be, as is typical of a guy's coat, kind of dirty and smelly and not as warm as mine had been, even though it's a fairly nice coat and appears to be suede like mine was. Mine was practically new and had more pockets and smelled much nicer. (And it didn't have holes in the pockets inside, or Skoal in the pockets.)


So, it seems as though I have a mystery on my hands - who has my coat? Who's coat do I have? If I spent day and night searching high and low, I might find out the answers to those questions, but even if the owner of my coat turned out to be a really handsome, wealthy prince, he'd most likely be gay. What's a girl to do?


I suppose the one bright spot to all of this is that, because I just have that cloud that seems to follow me around wherever I go, I actually had the foresight to make sure I did NOT put my keys in the pocket of my coat, but in my jeans pocket instead. It's that anxiety disorder that causes me to say "What if?" all the time that caused me to think on the way in "What if somebody takes my coat by mistake? I wouldn't want to lose my car keys, too!" The fact that I try not to take my anxiety and "What if?" thinking to the extreme is what kept me from putting my name on a piece of paper and pinning it to the coat. Maybe I'll rethink that and pull out all the stops and go extreme from now on.


So anyway, I have to learn to be happy with the fact that, while I lost a great coat, I saved several hundred dollars by not having to have keys made for the car. (The key has a chip in it, so you can't just get a copy made for a buck at the store.) It's a small victory, but I'll take what I can get at this point.


So there you have it. My redneck (Skoal-in-pocket) Cinderalla story, with a bit of Charlie Brown mixed in.


Good grief.


A.

GOOD GRIEF CHARLIE BROWN!!! FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!

So, I should have known that as soon as I got back home all hell would break loose. There was non-stop activity the day I got back, arranging for my roommate to purchase my step-grandmother's old car. We went to pick it up, but she couldn't find the title at home or at the bank. I typed up a sales contract on their computer, but the printer was out of paper. We put paper in, and then the ink was empty. We put the ink in, and the printer still wouldn't work until the computer was rebooted. These were all minor issues compared to how happy my roommate was to have the car, so all's well that ends well. (And it's great for me that I won't have to drive the roomie to work and back when the vehicle this one replaces finally gives out for good!)


One thing I had to deal with on returning home (even before I left MA, actually) was the fact my roommate's employer had taken money OUT instead of direct depositing money IN - this happened to ALL of the employees of that company, and it happened on the big shopping weekend following Thanksgiving. Talk about a mess for a lot of people! This of course affected bill payments.


A few days after I returned, I found that AT&T had tried to take a payment out of MY bank account almost two weeks before it was authorized to come out. I called them and spent more than two hours on the phone trying to get them to fix the problem. They gave me a case number. I waited.


In the next few days, I had NSF's of $30 each coming out left and right, caused by the domino effect of AT&T's unauthorized deduction. Now if I had made a mistake like that, no doubt I'd end up in prison for it. But hey, AT&T can do whatever they want.


A few days later I got a call from them, asking me if the issue was resolved. Umm. NO!!! They had done NOTHING to rectify the situation, and I was facing possible disconnection of service because the payment had to be cancelled, and that would create the appearance of a returned payment on MY part. They finally fixed THAT part of the problem after another 1.5 hours on the phone, but the NSF fees had not been addressed.


I was given a toll-free number where I was to fax paperwork showing the NSF fees I had incurred because of AT&T's mistake. They promised to credit my checking account directly once I sent the fax. I did that. I waited. I waited some more. Nothing.


Two weeks later, I've got $240 in NSF fees. Yesterday, I got a text saying the issue had been resolved with the case number attached. I assumed that meant they had made the deposit. They had not.


I called them while ago. Nobody knows of the department I sent the fax to. Nobody can give me any answers. I go round and round with these idiots and get nowhere. Some jackass sent me to the "handset security department for prepaid accounts". I don't HAVE a pre-paid account. I have a regular account for which I am billed each month. I spent 2.5 hours on the phone this time. Now I'm told I'll have to wait until tomorrow evening to get a phone call with an explanation on what they are going to do about this, and each day I have bills trying to come out of my bank account that are getting returned, which means I'll also have returned fees for THOSE companies in ADDITION to the ones from the bank.


AT&T claims they don't have a phone number for their legal department. Trust me. I'll get it anyway, and when I do, I'll be making a claim against AT&T for far more than the $240. I've spent TWO WEEKS - REPEAT - TWO WEEKS - trying to clean up the mess that AT&T has made of my checking account and my already full-of-struggle life.


What is my point in blogging about this? Well, mainly I just need to vent. But this raises an important point: How many people have had their lives turned upside down, how much productivity has been lost, how many people have been driven to near-nervous breakdowns by what starts out as a simple customer service issue and spins out of control until it affects almost all aspects of the person's life?


(Beginning of rant within rant.) Actually, this is VERY similar to some issues I had with my business years ago when some suppliers decided to take payment from ME, then NOT drop-ship products to customers I had paid them to ship the products to, resulting in ME getting in trouble with my business. It was a long, very drawn-out, convoluted process, but ultimately ridiculous occurrence after ridiculous occurrence of companies not doing what THEY promised to do resulted in my company failing and me having to answer for how it affected my business. The large companies involved did not suffer any consequences. In fact, one of them still owes me several thousand dollars for products which I paid them to send and they never did and I will likely never recover those funds. It's the little guy, folks. It's always the little guy who pays the price for the corporation's blatant, arrogant refusal to correct mistakes they have made that affect us, the little people.(/End of rant within rant.)


My ability to buy gas, groceries and giftmas gifts has been affected by this. My time has been wasted. Income-producing work hasn't gotten completed because I've had to spend so much time on the phone with FUCKING AT&T!!! If EVER there was an appropriate time for profanity, THIS IS FUCKING IT!!!


The fact that both my roommate and I have had similar issues with separate bank accounts leads me to believe that this sort of thing must be very common in America. For all I know, it's common EVERYWHERE. Who will answer for all of the hell caused by some corporate employee's careless mistake? This was NOT a computer error. This was a HUMAN error caused by someone entering the WRONG information into a computer. The fact that I have the employee's UID number means nothing, since nobody has asked for it and nobody seems to have the ability to do anything with the information. This means that the same person will likely go on making the same errors. I feel for whoever else has to go through this at any time, much less during the holiday season.


What's worse, last Friday (the 10th) my roommate's ex mother-in-law (who is 90 years old) and her daughter were hit by a car. Not only were they hit by a car, but the asshole who hit them sped off. Luckily, somebody knew who it was and tracked them down, but I haven't heard if they've been charged or arrested or not.


Both victims are alive and recovering at home now, which is amazing in itself, but the fact that so many people take cars and put people's lives at risk, cause injury or even death, and are allowed to go on driving really pisses me off, given the fact that people who have done things as non-life-threatening as writing $5,000 in bad checks are hauled off to prison for years at a time. What the HELL is wrong with our justice system? Apparently, America's justice system values money more than human life. Is this how we want to be represented?


We've had snow and ice all week. Last night, I went outside to turn off the animated yard decoration (Peanuts, of course, with Snoopy pulling Charlie Brown out of the chimney) and slipped and fell - the entire driveway was solid ice. I hit the bench in front of the porch, ricochet'ed off of it and ended up sliding and slamming into the front of my van. More bruises. It's starting to look like I'm in a fight club. I've still got fading bruises from two weeks ago, now I've got fresh ones to take their place.


I was sick earlier this week with some kind of stomach flu, I am just now getting over a mild case of the shingles (stress, anyone?), and last night a HUGE boil came up almost instantly on my right inner thigh, positioned just so that any walking or other movement is excruciatingly  painful. Oh yes, and let's not forget the aerosol cheese that exploded all over my face and clothes a couple of days ago.


After another session on the phone with AT&T's clueless "customer service" department, Charlie Brown's Christmas special was on television. I decided this would be a good time to put my little Charlie Brown tree together. "Surely that will cheer me up.", I thought to myself. Well, that didn't work out so well. That's right. My Charlie Brown Christmas tree, which is literally a replica of the tree from the television special, is defective.


I can't even put up a pathetic-looking Charlie Brown Christmas tree for cryin' out loud! Even Charlie BROWN wouldn't have THIS kind of bad luck! Seriously!!! If it fucking KILLS me, I'm going to get this Charlie Brown tree replaced and put it together. I mean REALLY!!! Only I could go to the store and buy a tree that is supposed to look pathetic, and even THAT doesn't go right because the damn thing won't assemble due to defective parts.


Speaking of defective parts, I think I need new glasses. I can't see very well lately.


In other news, a really nice lady who goes to the church in Easthampton, MA where my grandfather went when he and my grandmother lived there posted a link to Conan O'Brian doing his monologue and discussing the fact that their church has had the baby Jesus stolen from their nativity scene three times. Seriously, even if you're an atheist, you don't crap all over someone's cultural practices. Disagree with them out loud if you must, but unless you want them putting a cross in YOUR front lawn, don't go stealing the baby Jesus from theirs for crapsake! But hey, at least Conan is able to make a joke out of it. Humor: it's what's for dinner. Here, have a taste: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziiMpXI1aZo


So yes, life seems to be crapping all over me, and even though there are many many people who have it far far worse than me, that fact does not make MY life any easier to deal with. We all have to deal with our own problems, and it's all relative. They don't get any easier just because we distract ourselves by saying that someone else has it worse. Them having it worse doesn't pay the bills, and it doesn't magically solve anyone else's problems. The fact that a woman is getting beaten to death by her husband in Afghanistan doesn't feed starving people in the Appalachian mountains of Tennessee. (Remember, we DO have hungry people in AMERICA.) So there. Let me have my disgust and my anger and my frustration, because at times it seems as though that is the only thing I have in abundance.


This world will, at times, do everything it can to take away anything and everything that means anything and everything to you. And when it's done, it will try to steal your right to feel bad about it.


And now, after my pissed-off, ranting, bitchy, complainy blog post, I leave you with perhaps the most beautiful poem I have ever read, which also happens to be by my late father. It also happens to be full of hope, which I know many of us could use right now:

Homeward Bound - A Late Travel Blog

So, week before last, on November 30th, I headed home from Massachusetts after spending a wonderful Thanksgiving week with my uncles Greg and Jim. My van was completely loaded with family belongings, including my grandfather's grandfather clock, my grandmother's china, silver and glassware, ten boxes of family photos, a box of slides, another box of family films and videos, a couple of dining room chairs, my father's old microphones, stands and speakers, a VCR, a printer, a lamp, a huge wall mirror, and who knows what else? (I still haven't finished unpacking the van.)


Usually, the trip TO a destination is more fun than the trip home. This time, however, the trip there was uneventful and not unpleasant, but not nearly as much fun as the first day traveling back.


Let's see... there was the "Girls Gone Wild" tour bus that I passed. It was funny to see such a caricature of American entertainment traveling down the road.

I decided to stop at Hershey Park on the way, which is only about five minutes from the highway and very convenient for anyone traveling that route. It was raining, so the place was nearly deserted. I was told they had been very busy the week before and during the weekend, but around 2 p.m. on a Tuesday afternoon in the rain, not so much. There were no lines, few people, and I really enjoyed the free ride-style tour I took.

They have other things you can pay to do, including chocolate tastings, 3-D movies, and numerous other entertainment options, but I was trying to make sure I had enough time to rest later that night by the time I got to my hotel halfway point, so I opted for the quick and the free.


When I first got inside, I went to the ladies room, and heard a little kid say to his mom in the next stall: "I have so much in me! I have, like, 20 poops in me!" That ALONE was worth the trip. Leave it to a kid to say something so completely honest and so hilarious! Priceless memories are made of things such as this... reminds me of a trip my cousin and brother and I took with my parents to Indiana when we were kids, and all the way home we rolled huge Tootsie Rolls into balls and called them "ploppers", which were supposed to represent round little balls of poop. Yep. Kids love to make jokes about poop, which we did for about eight hours. No wonder my dad died at age 38! (More about the story behind that joke later.)


After the tour, I bought some day-old cookies in the gift shop at the Hershey factory and hit the road again.


When I got to the hotel a couple of hours later, I forgot my car keys in the hotel room, and at the exact same moment I realized it, the Peanuts theme began to play over the intercom. Was this the Universe reminding me that I am Charlie Brown's twin sister? Or perhaps it was an ominous warning of things to come...


Hours later, I went to get something from my car and slipped and fell on the sopping wet floor in the lobby entrance area, and I hear a voice singing "I'm here for you when you fall." Ok. That's some pretty extreme synchronicity, and it gives me the creeps when it happens... makes me wonder if I'm hallucinating. SURELY there couldn't be REAL music playing such appropriate words at such a time? I'd almost RATHER believe I'm hallucinating than to think that the law of averages even once in a while manages to chaotically bring such events together by accident.


I told the woman on duty about the fall and asked her to please move the rug after getting the water up. She said she would. Half an hour later when I went down for some ice, she had done NOTHING. I called her over and showed her what I was talking about and lectured her on how, if someone in their 60's or 70's had fallen as hard as I had, they'd probably have broken a hip or hit their head and died of a subdural hematoma. She acted as though I was a nuisance, which disgusted me further.


I went to the car again to take my bags out so I wouldn't have to do anything in the morning but get in the car and go, and found myself locked out when my key wouldn't work. (Static electricity most likely caused the magnetic strip to de-magnetize.) I had to wait for her to get back down to the lobby from her rounds of putting receipts under doors before I could get back in, and was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to spend the night outside.


The same woman who had nothing but apathy over the safety issues earlier said to me quite snarkily that there was a sign (20 feet away from the door I was locked out of) saying she'd be back shortly. It was a sign someone MIGHT have been able to read five feet away, but most certainly not 20 feet away and through double glass doors.


By morning, I was VERY sore and bruises were already starting to pop up. I hadn't slept from the pain. I talked to the manager, and she let me stay over at no additional charge, which was a nice gesture, but as I told her, the woman on duty the night before was my main concern - I wanted her to be re-trained on safety issues and priorities. When someone falls and brings a dangerous hazard to your attention, I don't care how busy you are, you need to take care of that so nobody else is in danger of hurting themselves. I'm ok - apparently I have VERY strong bones. (Could it be all the cheese, milk, ice cream and yogurt?) But what about someone else who might have fallen and NOT been ok?


I then went up to my room and dropped my key. I bent over to pick it up, and managed to hit my head HARD on the corner of the desk. I wondered if maybe downstairs in the lobby the song "Bang Your Head" might be playing?


I almost lost my head (pun intended) for a moment and started believing that the hotel was a sentient being trying to kill me. Hey, you would too after all of that! Don't deny it!


After getting some rest the following evening, I hit the road again and got back into town around 9 a.m. I went by my grandparents' house to bring them a few things before going home, and discovered that my step-grandmother was selling an old car she no longer needed or wanted the expense of insuring. My roommate really needed a car, so I arranged for that purchase to take place, and of course, ended up spending the entire day on it. (How silly of me to think I would get home in the morning and go straight to bed! Aaaahahahhahaha! That's hilarious!)


Booger was really glad to see me, and I spent some time loving on him. What a great dog. All dogs are pretty great, but of course, to me, no dog is as great as my Booger. I missed him so much, and he literally would not leave my side for days, as though he was afraid I was going to disappear for another week and a half.


So there you have it. My trip home in a nutshell. Of course there was bullshit involved. There always seems to be, but I really did enjoy the first day on the road back.


All in all, the trip there and back was good for me, as was the visit with my uncles. We spent some time down in the movie room watching old videos of the family and got misty-eyed a couple of times at seeing the family members together who have been gone for years now.


Bittersweet memories of the past shared together... it makes the present seem that much more special. Or, as my father said in a poem he published in a chaplet not long before he died in 1985:

To Go Back

The desire to go back

Is a strange one

For I know it cannot be fulfilled

And yet, I'd rather have the desire

Than not

For it places a value on the past

Which is transcendent

To the present and future

Since, in only time

They, too, will be past

A.