WEDDING DAY!

So, Jim and I drove to the wedding, and halfway there I realized I'd left my iPhone back at the house. I NEVER forget my iPhone! EVER! So the ONE time the laws of physics change and I DO forget my iPhone, it happens to be on my grandfather's wedding day! Luckily, my Uncle Greg has the same exact model I do (the family resemblance is starting to reveal itself) and had his, so I confiscated it and was still able to take photos and video.



Everyone was so excited, and I made sure everyone signed the guest book. Finally, the wedding march began to play, and my grandfather and his bride walked arm in arm to the "alter" under the wedding tent.

Here comes the bride and groom!

I found myself tearing up REALLY bad in the beginning, just from the pure sweetness of it all. To think of how much my grandfather has been through over the years, the fact that he fought in World War II, and now, here he was, at age 87, getting married! I was so happy and grateful that he was able to be so healthy and vibrant and have such a wonderful wedding - and such a beautiful bride whom we've all known for years and love so much!


The wedding itself was very sweet. There were a LOT of people there. It was hard to believe that all of these people were friends just from Massachussetts. You'd think he'd lived there his entire life. Most of his friends are here in TN, where there will be a reception when they get back home from their honeymoon travels.

The Wedding Begins!

My grandfather has always managed to have a huge following of friends wherever he goes. If he was on Twitter, he'd probably have more followers than Britney Spears and Lady GaGa combined! LOL

Finally, it was time to "Kiss The Bride"!

You may now kiss the bride!

Actually, while they were waiting for the music to cue up (there was a delay), they ended up kissing one another over and over and over, and each time the kiss got more and more passionate. I was afraid they were going to start the honeymoon before the wedding finale music began! LOL

Newlyweds!

There was a beautiful reception following the wedding, and lots of wonderful food! There were even Loomis House staff servers!

Top-Notch Service - Fried Oysters
(My grandfather's favorite!)

The wedding cake was as delicious as it was beautiful!
My grandfather, the wedding planner (who knew?) made sure the flowers matched his bride's dress! 

I didn't get to talk to everyone, but everyone I spoke to expressed how happy they were to see the first ever wedding take place at Loomis House. I think a lot of the residents were inspired. One of them even commented to Pa and Jean how refreshing it was to see two people walking down the hall, holding hands.

More kissing!

Maybe these two should skip the reception and go straight to their honeymoon suite!

A few of my grandfather's friends.

A toast to long life, love and happiness!

After the wedding, the newlyweds snuck off to a bed and breakfast where they spent the night and began their travels around New England!

Wedding Rehearsal Day

I was tired after traveling the day before, so I slept in and stayed at the house with Jim while my uncle went to Holyoke for the wedding rehearsal. I figured I'd be able to somehow figure out how to stand in the right place even if I wasn't at the rehearsal, and I wanted to help Jim get ready for the cocktail party at the house later that evening.


Jim went to pick up champagne and other supplies for the party, and I enjoyed the gorgeous mountain view from the deck while Oberon the 17-year-old cat kept me company.


When Jim returned, he had some gladiolas he had purchased from the daughter of their insurance agent who grows and sells them, and asked me to make a couple of arrangements for the party. (Obviously, Jim thinks I have skills beyond what I actually possess.) I managed to make some presentable arrangements, and then arranged the crackers (a great job for an obsessive-compulsive) and then Greg returned and there was much discussion over details and debate over where crackers and food should go, etc.


Of course, regardless of how you arrange the food, cocktail parties are unpredictable and take their own shape. A general rule for cocktail parties: it doesn't matter where the food and drink is, they will find it. If you pour it, they will come! ;-)


My grandfather and his fiancee' were there, as well as several people from the retirement community and nursing home where my grandfather has lived since my grandmother and he moved to Massachussetts years ago.

Left to Right: Pa (John, the groom), Jean (the bride),
and three of the most amazing people you could ever want on the staff from Loomis House!

My new grandmother Jean's daughter Anne and her son, Cody, both from TN, who drove up with Jean for the wedding were there as well, and I must say that Cody, though he must have been bored to tears at age 13 surrounded by not one person under 40, managed to fit in quite well. He's a great kid!

Left to Right: Cody, Anne, Greg, Jean, Pa (John), and Jim

I really enjoyed meeting everyone and showing them around the house. Of course, I had to give them a presentation of the Toto "Dream" Toilets, which have more bells and whistles than most cars! (I'll definitely do a separate blog post on that topic.)

The groom can not let go of his bride-to-be's hand!
Cody is in deep thought. Clearly, a "thinker"!

After the cocktail party, we all loaded up in cars and drove to a local brewery, where Greg and Jim had paid for an amazing wedding rehearsal dinner. They rented the upstairs, and requested their favorite server, a young Philippino college girl who is very attentive. There was great wine (both red and white) and a couple of very talented singers turned out to be among our guests!

Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

A male guest sang "On the Street Where You Live" so beautifully it made us cry, and Kelley, a friend of my grandfather's sang "Dixie" so beautifully it gave me chills!

These two couldn't keep their hands off each other!
I thought I was going to have to get them a room!

Several of us ate whole lobsters (sans the shell, of course) and a great time was had by all.

Greg and Jim: The Choke-Hold Hug!

Then, it was home for everyone so we could get up for the big wedding to be held the next day at noon!

Next: Wedding Day!

Greg and Jim (and Oberon makes three!)

Jim and I arrived at the house late in the afternoon. It was somewhat cloudy, but I was amazed at how green everything was even with the drought they're having up there. I lived in CT for about a year back in the early 90's, and had forgotten how gorgeous it is in New England.


When we arrived at the house, we were greeted by Oberon, Greg and Jim's 17-year old cat.

Oberon, 17 years old

Yes, I said SEVENTEEN! His brother, Orlando, has died, but Oberon seems to be doing well for his age. Of course, the fact that his parents keep a log so they can keep up with his extensive health care treatments and the fact that they are diligent in providing said treatments has a lot to do with Oberon's continued quality of life.


Every other day, Oberon gets hydrated intravenously (the benefit of having my uncle, who is an M.D., as one of his parents) and every other day they give him an appetite stimulant. He also gets his blood sugar checked regularly, and is on Lantus, the same insulin my roommate takes for diabetes.


Clearly, all of this makes a huge difference, because at 17 (the equivalent of a 90+ year old man) Oberon gets around better than a lot of cats half his age. He loves to go out in the yard and pretend that he's stalking prey, and, like any cat, he enjoys sunning himself on the deck or near a window. He also enjoys fresh water, right out of the tap!

Ahhh! So refreshing!

Oberon is proof positive that Greg and Jim are very loving people. When Oberon was in the animal hospital not too long ago, Greg would stop by and spend time with him every day on the way home from work. Sometimes I think their love is what keeps Oberon alive more than the IV's and insulin.


Greg and Jim live in a beautiful home, which is outdone only by the view it provides. It's a gorgeous house, but it's not pretentious at all. It is so clearly an expression of both Jim and Greg's personalities - comfortable and stylish with lots of personality and very welcoming. Jim puts a lot of effort into making sure things run smoothly around there, and Greg is the head of the techno-electronics aspects of the house, including the awesome movie room downstairs. Later in the evening, Greg and I went to Walmart so Greg could replace a wireless router, making Jim a very happy camper since he runs an internet business and hadn't had internet access at the house for a few days.

Chez Greg, Jim, and Oberon

There are many windows in the house, which allow for a wonderful view of the mountains in the distance. I really don't think I've ever just sat still and stared off into the distance like I did while I was there. It was the most relaxing, peaceful weekend I've had in years.

Stress Therapy

I stayed downstairs, where there are no windows, and where anyone with a sleep disorder can be quickly cured. It's so quiet, and completely dark with the lights off, you can't help but sleep. I think I got more rest there in a few days than I typically get in two weeks!

Oberon has the right idea!

Greg and Jim have been together for 20+ years now, yet they weren't able to get married until last year, thanks to some ridiculous, antiquated, freedom-restricting ideas so many in our government have yet to evolve out of their pre-historic minds. These two are a more loving, mainstream, middle-of-the-road, community-enriching couple than any other I've ever known. They have their differences, but they seem to have mastered the art of compromise, and even though their personalities are very different, they seem to compliment one another quite well.

Jim is 72, and looks like he's in his 50's. Greg is 54 I believe. I met Jim more than 20 years ago, and I think he looks better now than he did back then! The two of them have really begun to look a lot alike. Most people mistake them for brothers.

Greg on the Left, Jim on the Right
20+ years together!

Greg and I reconnected and got caught up on the past 20 years or so. We discussed the need to remove ourselves from the family at times (many years, in my case) and how my father seemed to be just on the verge of figuring out who he was when he got sick and died.

We had the kind of family that can swallow you up and leave you without an identity of your own, especially if you happen to be the kind of person who tries to keep everyone happy by being who they want you to be. There were some toxic people who could be quite cruel back then. Now that they are gone, the family waters seem much safer to navigate.

Greg is probably the only living family member who "gets" me. I'm a lot like my father in ways that some in the family never realized, but I had forgotten how alike Greg and I are as well, as different as he and my dad were. Now that my grandfather is married off, Greg and Jim will have less on their plate, and may be moving to New Zealand in a year or two. That really sucks since Greg and I are just now reconnecting, but I suppose these days with Facebook, email, and texting, it's easier to stay in touch across the globe than it used to be from across the street. Either way, I'm happy for Greg and Jim that they can have some freedom after years of looking after my grandparents and making sure my grandmother was well cared for as her illness progressed. They've definitely earned it!

Next: Wedding Rehearsal

Massachusetts - Day 1 - Arrival

Once the plane landed in Hartford, I called my uncle's husband, Jim, who was there waiting to pick me up. My uncle actually paid for my flight, which was an unexpected surprise, and it made the whole trip so much more relaxing to be flying instead of driving.

I don't like the term "-in-law", so I'll refer to Jim as my uncle as well from now on, rather than "uncle-in-law".

Jim drives a Subaru S.U.V. and he drives like I drive. Sometimes we scare people, but we're good, safe drivers. We just don't pussy-foot around about it! ;-)

The drive from Hartford, CT to MA was beautiful. We arrived in Holyoke, MA around 3:30 p.m., where my grandfather lives until the end of this month when he moves back down to TN to live with his new bride.

We got no answer when we knocked on the door, so we started to head out to my uncles' house, where I would be staying for the weekend. On the way back I decided to call and see where my grandfather was, and it turned out that they were there, they just didn't hear the door. They were in the bathroom cleaning out some of my grandmother's old makeup.

We turned around and went back so I could visit with my grandfather and his fiancee', Jean, for a little while. The conversation at first was about makeup - my grandfather had thought Jean might want to keep some of my grandmother's old makeup (sounds like a typical, clueless guy). We explained to him that makeup expires, and especially eye makeup should not be kept more than three months. "But you don't put all of that on your eyes." Still, we explained, makeup is not something you share from person to person... it's like a toothbrush. Very personal.

I think that was very symbolic for us all that the makeup was getting cleaned out. We won't ever forget my grandmother, who died last year of dementia of the Alzheimer's type, but we are continuing on with our lives, as we should. I also think it was a little difficult for my grandfather on some level, but he was so happy with his bride-to-be that it quickly faded.

I asked Jean and my grandfather (I call him "Pa") to pose for pictures. My grandfather sat in a chair, Jean sat on his lap, and they did NOT hesitate, when I told them to kiss one another, to do so quite passionately. It was wonderful! The two of them were definitely enjoying it! ;-)

Just a couple of crazy kids!

John and Jean, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

I had no pictures of my family (including my father, who died 25 years ago) after they all burned in a house fire years ago. My grandfather gave me quite a few of the ones he had in his apartment, and that alone was worth the trip!

Here's one of my father, looking quite young at 37, just a year before he died of brain cancer.

Dad - 37 Years Old
(Less than a year before being diagnosed with brain cancer.)

I'm so happy to have these photos! It's great to be able to put photos online now. The fire happened right before digital cameras became popular and before there was a practical means of putting photos online for storage. Your most valuable possessions can now be stored online, and it's nice to know that family photos need never be lost forever in a fire again.


Next: Greg and Jim (and Oberon makes three!)

Massachusetts - Day 1 - Enroute

I can't believe I've been home a week now and am just now getting a chance to blog about my trip to MA to attend the wedding of my 87-year-old grandfather! (I previously mentioned that he was 88 several times in past blog entries, but it turns out he's only 87.) But hey, better late than never, right?


So, the night before my flight (Wednesday night) I didn't sleep at all. Part of it was my obsessive-compulsive need to make sure I had completed certain tasks before I left. (I finally found a stopping point or I never would have finished packing, but felt uneasy as a result.) Part of it was that I was just too excited to sleep!


My roommate dropped me off at the airport and I had already checked in online on the way via iPhone, so had plenty of time to get my bag checked and make it to my gate.


It had been some time since I had flown, and I mentioned to the security checkpoint employee that I wasn't sure if I was allowed to bring my tweezers and nail clippers because it had been about 11 years since I had flown. (It is allowed.) Then, I almost had to laugh at myself when I realized that wasn't entirely true. Actually, I HAD flown as recently as less than five years ago, on "Con-Air", the federal planes used to transport prisoners from the processing center in Oklahoma to their designated prison. How many people can say they've experienced that? I actually think it's pretty cool that I can say that I have. I'll definitely blog about that flight sometime. It was very interesting and rather eventful.


The flight to Atlanta from TN was pretty quick - 45 minutes, maybe? When I arrived in Atlanta, that's when the fun began.


First, there was the Wall Street Deli. I couldn't resist stopping to take a picture of this kiosk, because it really took me back. You see, when I was being held in one of the southeast's worst, most nasty, horrific jails, which happens to be the Jefferson County jail in Birmingham, AL, the one bright spot was that when you were a federal detainee, like myself, if you had a court hearing you went to the federal building and at lunch time they would bring you food from the Wall Street Deli... a sandwich, chips, a coke, and a chocolate chip cookie. You have NO idea how AMAZING that was compared to the unidentifiable crap that was served at the Jefferson County jail. Yes, I'm breaking in the middle of this blog about my trip to mention this, because it's something I want to share. No, I'm not stuck in the past. Yes, it's important for me to remember and share this. No, it's not a negative thing for me to remember this. It simply reminds me that I have work to do and makes me grateful that I survived that place. Some people did not. No joke.


So anyway, back to happy land, here is the picture of the thing that reminds me of a bright spot in a very difficult time.

Good eats!

You should definitely try a sandwich there sometime, although I'm sure it will not taste as good to you as it did to me five years ago! ;-)


Next, I found myself navigating through the human traffic at the airport, which almost seemed as difficult to navigate as I remember the rush hour traffic on the Atlanta freeways being years ago. It didn't help any that I got stuck behind a "wide load" that I could not penetrate, no matter how hard I tried...

Can't go through the middle!

Can't go around, either!

Finally, after missing the sign for my gate and having to backtrack, I got on the train and made it to the section where I finally made it to my gate. It's a good thing I had an hour and a half layover, because it took that long just to navigate!

I decided to go to the ladies' room and freshen up a bit, where I was delighted to meet Elvis, an adorable (and so tiny!) Pomeranian puppy. His owner was gracious enough to let me take his photo and gave me permission to post it online:

What a cutie!

So tiny!

Once I got back to my gate, I spied a cute little boy who was apparently making sure he was qualified as a carry-on. I call him the "Carry-On Kid": (I wouldn't upload these photos without permission if his face was identifiable.)

Yep! He fits!

Chillin'!

If you look closely, you can see a tiny toy plane lying on the floor. When the "Carry-On Kid" and his family boarded the plane, he left it behind. I picked it up and carried it on when it was my turn to board the plane, hoping to spot him and return it to him. As it turned out, I was seated directly in front of him, so that was easy. His dad told me that he had lost several of these toy planes in their travels that day, so was happy to have at least one of them returned.


The flight was pleasant. I was in the back of the plane (which turns out to be the safest place to be in the event of a crash, and also where most of the passengers with small children ended up). One might expect it to be a very noisy flight with all of the babies and toddlers surrounding me, but they all were very quiet and slept for most of the flight, so I consider myself a lucky gal! ;-)


One thing that made the flights easier for me was that I always carry "Ear Planes" ear plugs, which help prevent pressure from building up in the ear canal at higher elevations. Years ago, on a flight to Washington, D.C., I had a VERY painful experience with that, so I decided to always keep a pair of these in my purse and have not had a problem since.


I also have a pair of Bose noise cancelling headphones, which I noticed many other people on the plane carry as well. Flight attendants always make sure they're turned off upon takeoff, but once you turn them on afterwards it really cancels out the noise of the plane. The combination of wearing Ear Planes ear plugs and the headphones is even more effective... just another example of how little things can make a huge difference!


Next: Arrival

Crickets and Frogs and Thunderstorms, Oh My!

I'm sitting up against my pillow in bed, listening to the quiet hum of the ceiling fan, accompanied by crickets in the background, frogs in the foreground, and the echoes of a recent thunderstorm in my memory.


It's one of those hot, humid, August evenings in the south. I have an air conditioner, but I choose not to run it so I can enjoy the late night sounds with which nature serenades me tonight.


I have so much to blog about, and yet I'm so sleepy. I really want to share the details of my recent trip to MA where I reconnected with my uncle and his husband and attended my 87-year-old grandfather's wedding. Wow. What an amazing trip, for an even more amazing event! Most people attend their grandfather's funeral at 87, yet I am fortunate enough to have a grandfather who is not only alive at 87, but vibrant and starting a whole new life!


I have many projects going right now which I must keep up with in order to pay the bills, so I'm finding it difficult to find the time to blog as much as I'd like, but hopefully I'll be caught up soon with work and can begin to then get caught up on the blogging.


There are so many interesting things happening in my life right now. A lot of my friends and family are going through changes as well.


In addition to the recent wedding in the family, I have a friend (Julie, whom I blogged about in an earlier post) who has recently lost her mother after years of caring for her every need as she lay helpless in a hospital bed in the living room. Her son, his pregnant girlfriend, and her two kids also recently moved out into their new apartment. Julie's diabetes ("diabetus" for @WhyIsDaddyCrying - a Twitter buddy) is starting to worsen.


Julie tells me she's sleeping a lot. She says that's all she wants to do, and that isn't like her. I see two things at work here. First, she's not had the opportunity to sleep like a normal person ought to be able to for more than three years. Now that some of her responsibilities are lessened, she can finally get some much-needed rest. Second, I worry that she may also be suffering from situational depression. Her mother's death is still very recent, so that would be expected. However, I worry that she could sink into a deep depression. She has also been taking insulin UNPRESCRIBED left over from her mother (who was also a diabetic) because she says her sugar has been very high. Stress can do that. A variety of things can do that. But I will NOT let her continue this extremely dangerous practice of self-medicating with insulin!


Monday I'll be making an appointment for her to see a doctor, both a general practitioner and a psychiatrist. She doesn't have insurance and didn't think she could afford it, but I'm happy to say that I am in the same boat, yet have been able to get access to basic medical care through a sliding scale facility and have also led others to the same facility that provides basic care at rates anyone can afford, and I will now be doing the same for Julie.


So many people don't realize how many options are out there for the uninsured, and I hope to change that. Learning what has been going on with my dear friend has made me realize that steps must be taken to let people know there are better options besides self-medicating, whether it be with alcohol, crack, or insulin!


My dog ("Booger") continues to grow and learn and get into all kinds of trouble. He's so cute I can hardly stand it! I continue to edge ever closer to some very important goals, and I am at this moment so sleepy that I will be lucky if I get this uploaded before I fall asleep.


Lots on my mind, and hope to share more of my oh-so-interestingly crazy life with ya'll shortly!


A.